blissful

gail+owen

2011-01-23T23:21:00.000-08:00

Talk about perfect timing!

The trip back home during the holidays couldn't have been more perfect - two of my closest friends were getting married (well, not to each other though) and they've both asked me to be a part of their special day. One, of course, I already blogged about. Gail, the other friend I referred to, has been an old, old friend from way back. We went to the same grade school and high school, but she was a year older. We were both top of our respective classes and we shared so many other interests in high school, we easily clicked. From then on, we became good friends and shared so much through the years. Despite going separate ways in college (we went to different schools and made new friends), Gail and I would always make it a point to see each other during the school breaks. We did so through the years and so continued to share an amazing friendship.

She asked me to be her matron of honor, and needless to say, I was honored.

Her wedding, I have to say, was one of the most beautiful I've been to. I couldn't help but cry (hmmm, honestly, bawl would be more apt, even my husband, who was there throughout, would say) throughout the wedding because of how happy I was for her. I first cried seeing her groom, Owen, cry as she walked down the aisle. I cried again seeing her beam as she walked down the aisle to her already crying groom. I cried (AGAIN) when they exchanged vows (they wrote their own vows - God bless their priest-celebrant who allowed them to; ours didn't, sadly). I cried, for the nth time, when the priest blessed them and they kissed and hugged. To put it simply, I cried every time the groom cried. Yes, he cried throughout the wedding and after. It was just the most touching sight! I've been to too many weddings, so trust me when I say I've seen all sorts of grooms and all sorts of expressions on their faces as they watched their bride walk down the aisle (I've seen some laugh, smile so brightly and cry tenderly), but I've never seen such expression as the one I saw on Owen's face. He cried in the most tender, most thoughtful way that simply just moved me (and many others, I saw!). I don't know Owen so well, I just know him through Gail's beautiful stories about him, but somehow seeing him during the ceremony (and after), how he cried, how he looked at Gail, how he cared for her throughout the day, I knew and I know that my dearest friend is in very good hands and that she's just so blessed to have him, as much as he is blessed to have her!

For those of you who know me well enough, it wouldn't come as a surprise to know that I cried at a friend's wedding. However, it just felt different for Gail. I've seen Gail through so many things - through all her triumphs and heartbreaks. Gail's former boyfriends ALL broke her tender heart in too many pieces in the past. Seeing her so happy with Owen just made me too emotionally happy for her. Add to that the sweet and crying groom that Owen was, I just couldn't help but thank God for sending my friend truly the man of her dreams. As good, caring and thoughtful a friend that Gail always has been to me, she deserved only the best, not an ounce less. Then again, like I like saying, good things do happen to good people - all in God's perfect time. So it did.

And like I said in my toast, cheers to two selflessly caring people who truly (TRULY) love each other and who truly (TRULY) deserve each other!

***
Here's a glimpse of their beautiful wedding!

earl+sam

2011-01-23T22:37:00.000-08:00

It was early last year when I got a Facebook message from a college buddy, Earl, asking me if I was coming home for the holidays because he wanted to ask me to be a part of his wedding.

If you knew me and Earl and the kind of hate-love (yes, hate first) friendship we shared more than a decade ago, you'd be surprised, too, that he did ask me to be a part of what was to be the most important day of his life. Then again, if you also knew how our friendship "improved" through the years, you'd simply smile and sigh.

You see, Earl was the biggest bully to me and to my girlfriends in college. Before I went to college and met, I never thought college bullies existed. One would think a bully was this kid of a jerk of in grade school who made lives of the lowly, geeky ones miserable. Earl gave a new definition and perspective to the word. He was both that bully and jerk in college.

He belonged to what we, back then, labeled as the "haughty group" from Sacred Heart (referring to the high school they graduated from, which, by the way, is this exclusive all-boys school in Cebu City). The group was composed of guys who came from that school and were such "feelers", acting as if they were invincible and too smart for the course. I actually remember a teacher "hating" them! Ha!

I think I dwelt too much on the "hate" aspect of our friendship. There was more good to it really, in the long haul.

Eventually getting over the many pranks and haughtiness Earl and the other guys "showered" us with, we all ended up sharing a wonderful friendship throughout our college years. We went out to dinners and parties, traveled together and simply shared the joys of the college life. Even after graduating from college, going separate ways, we continued to keep in touch. I, most specially, kept in touch with Earl and the other guys - yes, the haughty bunch.

Earl back then was dating this beautiful girl from a different college. They were high school sweethearts. They were together over a decade (after college, they both went on to take up Law) when they finally broke up. Earl was devastated. As big a bully as he was in college, I never saw him so shaken up as he was that night we went out to dinner to tell me about the sad news. He was pouring his heart out to me and I couldn't help but feel no matter how bad he was, he didn't deserve to go through that breakup (and all the ugliness of betrayal, more so). And oh, imagine sharing over a decade of your life with someone you thought you were growing old with already and just as suddenly he/she disappears from your life forever (and worse, ending up pregnant with another's child - talk about adding insult to injury).

Earl, however, moved on, although not as soon as I thought he would - considering his "history" (a bully+jerk could mean many other things, too, you know - ha ha!). We had dinner several months later (and yes, which means the old flame already gave birth to a boy - heartwrenching, I know!) and he told me he met Samantha, a pretty and petite lady, who, as he described, was just amazing. Earl's eyes just lit up and I couldn't contain my happiness! Good things do happen to good people. In God's perfect time, they do.

About three years later, they marry.

It was an honor to be a part of their simple but beautiful wedding. More so, it was meaningful to be a part of a guy friend's wedding. It was something new because I've never been part of a guy friend's wedding. Usually, I'd end up bawling as I watched a friend walk down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams. This time around, I nearly cried watching Earl, my friend (former nemesis, ha ha), waiting for the woman of his dreams walk down the aisle.

Here's to a happy beginning, Earl & Sam! Cheers!

***
The wedding was a happy college reunion of sorts. Although we weren't even half the number of friends from the group during the wedding, it was fun to catch up with them, especially that we mostly came in pairs, save for my best friend, Mylene, who came stag (boyfriend was in Europe).

College was such a blast for me! Earl's wedding and the fun company reminded me why.

inspired!

2011-01-23T22:04:00.000-08:00

I am watching this movie and was inspired (or reminded could me more like it?) to write on this blog again. It is definitely hard to keep up and make do with the promise of regularly dropping by and sharing my thoughts as much as I would like to. I'd like to say there are no apt excuses but there are just too many I can think of everytime I start to write or try to think of something inspired to write about. Such is life, I know.

I am not good at writing reviews so I won't even try. I just want to, however, mention how I quite enjoyed the movie and like I said, was inspired to write. Like I perhaps mentioned in the past, I've always loved writing. There was such a time in my life where I wanted to be a writer, as simple a dream as that. Julie Powell did it somehow, inspired by her love for cooking and her admiration for Julia Child. Should I even try? Perhaps that question also went through her head the first time she thought about blogging.

Question remains. Can I be a writer, like I once dreamed of a long time ago?

Question remains.

US of A

2011-01-15T23:33:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd say this, this soon, but I LOOOOVE America. Don't get me wrong, Ormoc will always be home to me. Even when I've started my own family here, my heart still, and always, belongs to Ormoc (yes, I still would want to grow old, die and be buried in Ormoc). BUT, I loooove this country (well, not half as much as my husband, who's lived here more than half his life, does!).

How can I not?

*There is ORDER in the streets. People (and dogs!) do not just cross the street at any time. Well, there are no dogs on the streets (aka askals, as they are called back home), to begin with. People follow rules when crossing the street - yes, they cross through the pedestrian lanes. When I first moved here, I remember my first observation about the streets here - wow, the painted lines actually mean something here. Yes, they do.

Drivers are the most courteous. They give way. Everyone follows the rules, almost always by the book. Okay, okay, it's not a perfect world out here - there are still crazy drivers (thus the accidents here and there), but unlike back home in the Philippines, it's the other way around here. Almost everyone back home drive crazily, save for a few who actually follow the rules. Here, almost everyone follow the rules. Like I already said, drivers here are mostly courteous. And trust me, it took me all those 27 years to realize that courtesy in driving does exist!

Because of such courtesy, and knowing that most people drive safely and follow rules, driving here was such a breeze for me. I did not once hesitate to drive. Although it took me a while to have the guts to drive through the freeway, I easily conquered it because of drivers who, yes, drive carefully, safely, courteously, NEVER (or rarely, anyways) crazily. It was actually the speed with which I had to maintain through the freeway that kept me from driving through it the first few months. (Yes, on the side streets, the average speed is about 35-40 miles per hour, about 56-64 km/hr; on the freeway average speed is about 65-70 mph, about 104-112 kmh.) But once I conquered the speed, everything just happened naturally. There was never fear for anything else because I knew (and I know!) that everyone drives with common sense over here.

**Everything is ORGANIZED and EFFICIENT over here - in malls, groceries, stores, and the like. I remember I hated going to Gaisano or most other stores back home because there were too many useless workers all over. I shouldn't forget the gazillion cashiers at the cashier registry - the cashier herself, a checker, another checker, yet another checker, bagger #1 and a bagger #2 even. It's almost hilarious when I remember all of them in one cashier's booth. I'm sure you get the point.

I LOVE the return/exchange policy here and how they actually make sense and that they actually work. They don't give you a hard time. As long as you have the receipt and the item, you're good to go. Heck, in some stores (eg COSTCO), you don't even need the receipt! As long as they identify correctly through the bar code of the item in question, you're good. Point of the matter is that they do not give you a hard time. At all.

Here, the customer is indeed always right. They don't fight customers. Everyone greets you courteously, warmly. Everyone attends to your needs, ASAP, too. When you have a question, concern, complaint, they address them immediately, you never get to the point of seemingly "fighting" them just to get your point across. They actually LISTEN and CARE.

***People here are FRIENDLY. People who don't know each other talk. I don't mean to sound so anti-Filipino but I cannot imagine this friendly atmosphere among strangers back home. I remember P, my husband, telling me how this one guy at a Starbucks in Cebu looked at him strangely when he (P) asked him how he was and then asking politely if he could take the extra chair across him. The guy was too shocked to know how to respond to him, he nevertheless gave a quick OK nod. My husband's cousins were as shocked as the guy. Pancho goes on telling me how, for a "very hospitable nation" (as what we proudly call ourselves to be), talking casually to a stranger was such a "strange" thing for us, almost seeming that "friendly" was not in our nation's vocabulary; that being friendly entailed malice. He swore the look on the guy's face at Starbucks read "what does this guy want from me? Where does he come from just talking to me like that?" Yes, you get the picture.

I love how, for example, in elevators (at the hospital or at the mall), people greet each other, comment on each other's kid's cuteness, wish each other a good day, and the like. We can actually carry out short conversations with them without putting any malice to it! Oh well.

****I LOVE this nation's postal service! I love how it's so easy, so quick to send mail without having to spend a fortune! Back home, to be certain your mail gets to your recipient, you have to spend at least Php100 at least!!! Worse, you have to go to that courier service, line up, pay, etc. Even worse, you have to deal with incompetent people behind the counter (shoot me now, I'm just telling the truth and you know it!). Here, you can just leave your mail on your mailbox and the mail man just picks it up. Voila! For bigger packages, well, you do have to go to the post office and line up, but they're so organized you don't mind lining up! They've made it easy for us, too. There are auto machines where you can just drop off your parcel after you've paid for postage. You can also buy and print stamps online - then you can just leave your parcel for your mail man to pick up and deliver to your recipient. Again, voila - that simple, yes!

*****911. Emergency hotlines. Those phone numbers actually mean something and can actually save your life! I've heard stories of friends and family about calling 911 during an emergency and the paramedics (and usually along with the firemen and police) arrived in 3 to 6 minutes tops. I once went to church during a Wednesday novena and found paramedics resuscitating an old woman who collapsed in the middle of mass, saved her life and brought her to the hospital. Yes, that's how it efficiently works here. People work their ass off to save other people's lives. Hospitals never refuse to treat patients. People live because people always try to save their lives.

******Road constructions (which are most rampant in our country, as well, no thanks to crooks running the government as their own business/BIG source of income - oh, you didn't hear about the SOP; how much is that now, 40%? 50%?) here exist but they don't exist as long as they do back home. Minor road constructions are completed ASAP; here in the US, ASAP means ASAP, thus the overnight work. When you pass through that same road which was being worked on the day before, it's completed. No political fuss involved. Freeway road constructions last longer, of course, but whenever you pass by the site, you see people actually working on them, not just a bulldozer left on the site to "show" people that the site is being worked on - ahem, ahem. Point of the matter is that people work efficiently here, construction people, construction companies included. Like P and I talk about, we're certain politicians here are as big crooks as our very own politicians, but here, they're efficient "crooks", no matter what. They don't delay road constructions and the like.

Needless to say, I've said a mouthful. Enough said, then. Yes, I am loving this country - for its efficient, organized and orderly system. I just got back home from my beloved Ormoc (Philippines) and I have to admit when it comes to systems (oh gosh, I'm talking about the airport, most specially), we are a gazillion years behind. SAD (and CRUEL, i must admit) but SOOO TRUE. Life. Can't have it all. No matter what I've expressed above, I still love my beloved country, the Philippines. Nothing will ever change that - not the crooks, not the painted lines on the road which don't mean a thing, not even the askals. But then again, it can't hurt to be honest, right?

Wishfully hoping (and still forever hopeful) for a better Philippines in my lifetime.

Labor Day

2010-10-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

Leila Maria Rodriguez Larrazabal.

That's what we named our heaven-sent little angel.

Born at exactly 1:00 pm on May 1st, 2010, a Saturday. (Yes, I literally went on labor on Labor Day - in the Philippines, anyhow.)

I was 5 days past my expected due date. Early that Saturday morning (about 1:00 am), I felt something weird - all those weeks prior, every single "feeling" I got, I thought I was in labor already; well, this was my first baby, naturally, I had no idea what labor pains felt like. That time, though, the "pains" were more persistent. I could no longer go to sleep - while my dear husband snored the night away. Hours passed and I still couldn't go to sleep; the pains were becoming more intense. Then, I knew this has got to be IT. At about 5 am, I couldn't wait any longer, I woke up Pancho and told him this was IT. I then woke up my mom in the next room, and I told her to get dressed. I still remember the big smile on her face, ever the excited grandmother. She asked, "Are you sure this is it?" I told her I knew for sure. We took our time, though. I managed to make some toast and eat it. We all sat on the table, while my dear husband packed everything into the car. Nothing was sinking in just yet. Is this really it, I remember thinking to myself.

Soon enough, we headed to Kaiser Permanente, where I was to deliver my baby, at around 7am. We checked in and soon enough, I was laying in bed, still feeling all those contractions becoming more intense by the minute. BUT, they were never as bad as they looked on TV or in the movies. Doctors then came to check on me, torturing me with IEs (internal examinations - yes, internal and deeeeeep; urrrrgghh, I hate to remember how those felt), and finally told me I was barely dilating - only half a cm after all those hours of contractions! I was already 5 days past my 40 weeks! This baby was enjoying my womb too much. Alas, the doctor made us choose with either being induced and waiting it out but that she thought it might take longer and my fluid was running low and the baby's heart rate was fluctuating already OR that I go through C-section. I never once thought we'd ever have to make that choice. The doctor left me and Pancho to talk things through. Before I knew it, I was sobbing like a baby. I was so scared - I've never been operated on before, ever; heck, I was never hospitalized ever before. I wasn't talking sense anymore, my husband just kept hugging me, comforting me.. We had to decide soon, so we called in the doctor and told her our decision. Everything from there just happened so fast. But I do remember some darn (pardon the term, but she really was!!!) nurse who put on my IV line and screwed it up twice before she finally got it; to think my vein was practically popping out, calling out her name! Shortly after, I was taken to the operating room. It was sooooo cold, that I remember. And who could ever forget the epidural shot?! Pancho had to change and suit up first before he could enter the OR, so it was just me, the anesthesiologist and the nurse. I had to beg the nurse that I needed to hold on to someone before the doctor gave me the shot. It was crazyyyy painful, to say the very least.

From thereon, everything just happened in a blur - as if on fast forward mode - the anesthesia did its job and numbed me from chest down. I could feel some pressure - apparently, they were slicing me open, pushing or pulling (???) the baby out. It seemed like it only took five minutes from the moment they opened me up when I heard the most amazing sound a mother would ever hear - her baby's first loud crying! Pancho, who was just beside me all this time (yep, we were just chatting and laughing while waiting for Leila to come out - cool huh?), and I just cried, seeing our little one. Needless to say, it was love at first sight! She was sooooo white and had sooooo much black hair!

It took a while before they finished "sewing me up", but all in all, everything in that operating room happened in exactly one hour.

I could barely believe that in just twelve hours from when my contractions started, here I was holding my little angel in my arms. It felt so surreal.

This was my baby. This is my baby. Yes, THE one I was carrying for nine whole months.

So, as you can see, Labor Day couldn't have come any sooner! If I only knew she would be this adorable, I'd definitely have had her sooner =)

I miss...

2010-10-13T17:04:00.001-07:00

ORMOC.

I miss everything Ormoc.

I always said I'd live and die in Ormoc. I've always loved Ormoc, wholeheartedly. Even when I went to college in Cebu, I always knew I'd go back to Ormoc after, settle there and all. Alas, God had different plans for me. I know life's turned out better - because I know the life I am now living (and enjoying!) is what He thinks is best for me and my loved ones.

But still...

I miss everything (and everyone!) in Ormoc.

I miss...

HOME. Everything in it, everyone in it. From my parents and siblings, to the household help, to the dogs, turkeys, roosters (believe me, I miss most the yabag tugtuga-ok of the roosters at 5 am!). I miss the sight of Poppy in prayer early in the mornings, having coffee with him; I miss Mommy's automatic early morning "Noy Kayooooo!" I miss my brother's stories, my little sister's endless questions, my other sisters' newest adventures! I miss Nang Boning's cooking; the ease with which I could just ask our reliable secretary, Lerma, to do groceries or buy a particular medicine.

FOOD. No matter how Filipino food here in the US has become more accessible than in yesteryears, it still does not compare to how food is at "home". Somehow, Filipino dish here has a tad bit of an American touch, it just doesn't taste like "home". It's just not as good as our home-cooked meals. I miss Nang Inday's fried chicken, dinuguan, crabs, shrimps and pork barbecue. I miss Pardis' fried chicken skin and chicken barbecue. I miss Nang Boning's pork steak. I miss my mother's food inventions. She's not good at cooking, but she's definitely the best in inventing and instructing Nang Boning how to cook them! Moreover, I miss my cousin Tina's chocolate fudge (I now live in the US of A, seemingly the home of all sorts of desserts and goodies - you name it, they've got it; but none has compared to her goodies!). Best of all, I miss everything Mayong's. I've tasted practically every burger this country has to offer, but still nothing lives up to THE Mayong's cheeseburger!

MORE FAMILY. I'm a family person; I adore my family so much! The past year (or so) I feel I've been "deprived" of them. Don't get me wrong, I have family here. My husband and Leila are my family. My husband's family is here, too. They are my family. My sister and her hubby are also here. They are family. Some relatives - aunts, uncles, cousins - are here. They're family, too. But I miss the whole Rodriguez and Tan kaboodle. I miss the familiar "chaos" when everybody's around. I miss every conversation, every laughter, every story we all share when we get together.

FRIENDS. I miss my friends/cousins. I miss my girls - I miss having them around when I need to de-stress or just rant about a bad day. I miss having them to share a good, big, delicious meal with. I miss how I can talk to them about anything and everything. I've made a lot of friends here the past year, most of them Asians, as well; well, Vietnamese at that! They're fun and we get to talk about anything and everything, too. But because we've just met over a year ago, the whole feeling of familiarity just isn't there yet or as much as I already share with old friends. Nonetheless, I feel blessed, as it is.

LINGKOD. I miss the community and all the brothers and sisters. I miss serving God through the community. I miss all the activities. I miss praying and worshipping God with the whole community. I miss the talks, retreats, workshops, everything community-related. It's just so different here. The closest I got to being involved with community was joining an old group (literally, OLD) for Wednesday novenas (while I was pregnant). Having Leila has become a handful, I don't ever go out of the house without her. It's not an excuse, it's reality for me now.

However, by God's grace, I have about 58 days left to "miss" Ormoc because yes, I will see and experience Ormoc (everything and everyone in it) SOON. GOD WILLING!

It's almost been 2 years!

2010-10-12T14:05:00.002-07:00

I cannot, for the life of me, understand why it took me too long to blog again. Don't get me wrong, I looooove this blog and I've always loved "writing". There are a gazillion excuses running through my brain right as to how I've just put aside my passion for writing all these months. It has to be said, though, I regret now having written, not having blogged, here sooner.

Yes, it's almost been two years! And I have to add, the past two years have been the most amazing, the most dramatic; yes, the MOST of all mosts happened the past almost-two years of my hiatus.

Quick rundown and recap since my last blog entry:

1) At the top of my head - well, like I mentioned already in my last entry, I was to be wed in August of last year, and yes, got married I did! I have to add - to the most amazing, most thoughtful, most loving, kindest person I know. And yes, we have been married for more than a year now and we look forward to celebrating more blissful years of married life!

2) I now have a gorgeous little angel - we named her Leila Maria. Yes, between my last entry and today, I got married, got pregnant immediately during our honeymoon in Hawaii (yes, Leila was "made in Hawaii", hence the seeming Hawai'ian name!), and gave birth to our beloved Leila Maria. She is now, as I blog, 5 months and 12 days old. And for certain, as much as I flooded my old entries with stories of the love of my life, the forthcoming entries will feature none other than the new love of my life, my daughter. :)

3) I now reside in Lake Balboa, California, in a small but beautiful home in the suburbs of Los Angeles County. Our home is about 20 minutes away from the crazy, busy LA life. Lake Balboa is in a valley (San Fernando) where life (and the streets) still get busy, but it is definitely on a slower pace compared to downtown LA. Yes, I've moved my entire life from the provincial life of Ormoc in the Philippines to its seeming American version here in the United States. I love how it still somehow reminds me of how small Ormoc is, how the supermarket is just a 5 minute drive away, the Church about 10 minutes, and relatives a bit farther off (but still not as far as I used to think - when I was back home in Ormoc).

4) My sister, Iana, who is also happily married and just recently found out she was pregnant (yiheeee!), lives about 50+ miles away from me. Huntington Beach is about an hour's drive away, but so far, it's been great for us! We see each other at least twice a month (either they drive up to see us or we drive down to see them!). The best part of this whole setup? My husband, Pancho, and hers, Carlo, have become such good buddies!

5) I have become the ultimate homemaker (or I try to, at least!). I cook, bake, do laundry, scrub the bathroom floors, vacuum, and do practically everything a good homemaker does! If you knew me five years ago, you would never think I'd end up as such (yes, I still surprise my own family!), but let me say, I love everything I do - every single day! I am content. Very content!

I may not have ended up where I thought I would (5, 10 years ago?) but I definitely know that I am meant to be where I am now, and I truly feel God's hand in everything. I feel so blessed, I cannot thank Him enough for everything.

Yes, from my last blog entry to this one, a LOT has changed. From being the super busy woman I was back home in Ormoc, running from one meeting to the next and being stuck in the office all day, I am now a content homemaker, spending my days at home, making it as spotless as posstible, cooking the best dish for my family, and tending to the most beautiful gifts I've been bestowed with, my husband and my daughter.

That's where the past year (or so) has been for me. I've been blessed.

Lazy Sunday

2009-03-01T01:14:00.002-08:00

Today was not such a good day.

I woke up looking forward to a lazy Sunday, hopefully able to spend quiet time in prayer, watching all the videos I downloaded the past week, "playing" and experimenting in the kitchen (this being the only day in the week when I can "practice" cooking - yep, hopefully to prepare myself for my future job as homemaker), having lunch and laughing with my family (as in every Sunday)...

Alas, things can't just happen our way all the time, eh?

I slept in a bit, woke up, then immediately checked the videos I downloaded last night, saw that my mac practically worked in slow motion, so I did a hard, long press on the power button to shut it down. Of course, the whole drama started right after - I turned it back on but it wouldn't budge. All I could see was a white blank space, it wouldn't move from there. I could still here the startup sound, but it was just that - darn. Something was wrong. Something was very very wrong.

This is exactly what happened to my sisters' macs at one point in their existence - I couldn't and didn't want to believe it, but it just happened to me.

My mac crashed - my heart just felt its pain just the same. I was mourning for both immediately after.

I was very happy after my sister affirmed how she thought I seemed to be very calm about the whole thing. True. I knew my mac crashing was beyond me. It was my bad - I probably exhausted the life out of my mac the past weeks - all day work with me at the office, and I had it work overtime overnight downloading my favorite TV series.

All I could think of was that I hope I backed up my files right last Wednesday - using the time machine application of my Leopard OS.

Praying, praying, praying.

Pray with me, loyal blog?

random thoughts

2009-02-26T15:31:00.002-08:00

Just when I promised I'm back to the blogging world for good, I once again fail you, dear Blissful blog, because of crazy work time, wedding planning time, community time, family time, PB time - yeah yeah, I am yakking about all my pathetic excuses. Truth be told, when I am on the verge of clicking on my bookmarked blog button, my mind goes -

BLANK.

Despite the colorfulness of my simple life, I am at a loss for words, specially when I attempt to blog away.

I wake up this morning with a heavy heart and too many thoughts:

1) PB and I fought fought fought yesterday, it broke my heart. As my cousin and very dear friend Monic put it - "Wow Maic, you guys have finally learned to fight?" Yes, we are not the typical fighting couple. We talk things through every time we disagree on something. I listen to what he says, he listens to what I say. Then we come to a conclusion, a compromise of some sort. But yesterday? It was far from drawing a friendly conclusion nor a civilized compromise even, I was yelling the life out of me. I was literally exhausted after hanging up - it was darn 1:30 am for him already and even if I was still fuming mad, I told him it was time for him to go to bed, what with work tomorrow for him at 9.

I wake up with such a heavy heart today because of crazy thoughts in my head - he gave me every possible reason to feel horrible, to doubt - which I hate to do, this place I am not used to being at. I am a naturally happy, cheerful, always-feeling-blissful (because I know life is blissful for me!) but yesterday, I just ended up thinking and feeling the worst.

End of story for now. I'd rather mention a few other random, happier thoughts.

2) Hmmm, not quite happy thought number 2: I am firing two employees this morning. Hard-headed, stubborn ones. Even if I definitely know they deserve to be axed (with reports and affidavits from their superiors to vouch for this), it breaks my heart to let go of them. I know how difficult life is these days but can I help it - they can't even help themselves?!

Oh well, one's gotta do what one's got to do.

3) First random, happy thought: Despite waking to a heavy heart, I love cuddling with my little sister. I woke up with her leaning on me, her legs on top of mine (what we refer to as "making tanday"). It was heartwarming. Somehow, it made up for the heavy feeling I was carrying. She simply lightens up my every day.

4) I am looking forward to a crazy Friday ahead - if only to occupy my mind with better things (WORK!) than being stuck in a rut, moping about that stupid fight. But more than that really, I look forward to having dinner with my girls tonight - it was supposed to be last night, but I just felt darn lousy after crying my heart out in Church. Better late than never still! Specially when it comes to bonding time with these amazing girls! Wheeee! See, heavy heart level down one notch...

5) I wanted to just sleep in last night, getting home from work and the Church, but I remembered Mamita invited us for dinner - yikes, they're going to see my bulging eyes (yes, from all that crying, the bulge definitely clearly manifested itself!)! Thank God for eyeglasses! All in all, it was a lovely evening with my family, as usual, food was abounding (crabs and more crabs), kids running around laughing, awwww, that definitely took all (well, almost all!) my blues away.

Slept well last night actually. Except for the few hours I ended up waking up in the middle of dawn, just thinking, then crying again.

Yes, you can just imagine how I look now - tired, still bulging eyes, heavy heart - how worse can it get?!

6) I woke up with a heavy heart but with a hopeful spirit. GOD does that to me. All the time. I went to Church after work yesterday, cried my heart out, HIS voice was so loud, HIS message very clear - HE is hope to all who are hopeless, I am HIS and HIS alone. I came out of the church with a smile. A big one, I'd have to say, and soooo much hope and love in my soul.

7) I've ran out of random thoughts, happy and heartbreaking alike.

For now, I have to run to the shower and start the long Friday. It's not as happy as it usually is. Then again, HOPE. There always is, never runs out of it. With God with me, who can be against me?!

Happy friday all!

Happy Day of Hearts

2009-02-13T20:46:00.003-08:00

Once again, I celebrate this red day of hearts by my lonesome - technically not really since by far I've spent a few hours in the office this morning and I'm having dinner with my sisters and cousins tonight - but figuratively, I am by my lonesome, while my dear Chooby is miles (thousands of miles!) away. But just like last year, he didn't fail to me surprise me again!

I got home from the office after lunch, and surprise, surprise!

Add to that a card which said it all - a promise that truly, this will be our last Valentine celebration that we're not together! *sigh*

Truly a happy day of hearts still!

Can't, won't ask for anything more!

I am blessed.

the whole story

2009-02-07T04:56:00.002-08:00

I haven't quite told the whole story on how life has started out blissfully for me this year and how so many things are going to change the next few months. They're aptly called blissful changes.

Pure bliss.

PB and I have long ago planned for a beautiful life together - spending a couple of years in LA, then hopefully after 5 to 8 years (at most, I hope!), we come home to Ormoc, start our own business (while he helps with his family's business as well), raise our kids here, and be with the rest of our family. God willing!

With us being engaged, everything is just unfolding that way, so soon. The soon part I totally am looking forward to with glee! So does he. We both look forward to the simple joys of just being together - enjoying food tripping (he has a list of restaurants he wants to bring me to), going to the beach, driving through wherever, visiting museums, exploring new places, learning about people, the list goes on.

So on to reality - the time frame.

As much as I'm dying to just fly to LA and start our life together, there's just so many more things I am going to leave behind here. Foremost, there's my family - my parents, Bieni, well, just them. Technically, Ivi will be leaving for Sydney again, Yani is marrying Carlo in October and settling in the OC, while my only brother will be Cebu-based, what with his medical studies. So basically, it's missing my parents and my baby Bieni that's tugging at my heart most.

There's work - the family business I've worked for the past three or so years. I've had two secretaries and one supervisor who's gone to my office and have shed tears when I told them of my plans of leaving already - you can just imagine how that brought me to tears as well! Mayong's has been my pet project, helping organize and professionalize the business has been something personal to me; after all, it was my father and his three brothers who started the small business and making it bloom all these 20+ years. Being a part of it is just an amazing experience! I know it's going to grow bigger even in the coming years, it pains me that somehow I won't be a part of its expansion already. I won't be around to stand in awe at how God is going to continue to bless the business, the way He has the past so many years. Oh well.

Another heart-wrenching goodbye I am going to make is to my community, Lingkod. I have been part of it for about four years already, and I have to say that it was through this community, through its inspiration, teaching, and guidance that I am the person that I am now. I've served God through this community and that has fulfilled completely my every heart's desire. I know serving God doesn't end in that goodbye, I can only pray that I will find my own place in another community in my new home where I can continue serving my ever faithful God. Truly, I can't ask for anything more.

Of course, who wouldn't miss the friends I've made all these years? My friends/berks/cousins have made light comments here and there about me leaving, but I'd always, always just shrug them off - I'd always tell them it's still a long way to go. Truth is, it breaks my heart every single time - every thought of being far from these people I've been so used to being with, it just simply breaks my heart.

I always tell PB how he's "taking me away" from all these things, from all these people. Of course I mean it lightly, after all, I know that "giving up these comforts" is all worth it - I'm giving them all up for that one person I'm meant to be with.

Back to reality again, I spend my days now working like crazy - on the side, slowly preparing the office for my leave, slowly endorsing what needs to be endorsed, so hopefully the transition will happen as smooth as possible.

The wedding plans are underway - somehow the hype has died down, what with all the bookings complete, just other equally important details are left to be done in the next couple of months (everything's set, recorded, scheduled, and checked every now and then, not to worry!). *details to follow in my next couple of blogs - trust me this time, I'm baaaaaack*

More than the big day, really, PB and I look forward to our already-set (thank God!), already-booked (thank God again!) Hawaii honeymoon! I put him in charge of everything, the Luau, the sunrise date, etc etc etc - yes, the super-organized me is endorsing our honeymoon to the hands of my not-too-organized-typical-guy fiance! I always tell him what matters most to me is that we're together. Period.

So there. For now, I shall rest my case - it's been one PMS-filled-to-the-brim, emotional day. Night!

top of mind

2009-02-06T04:51:00.003-08:00

I had a not so good Friday alright. But somehow, it didn't end so bad. ;-)

I usually leave work just a few minutes before 5:30, just so I arrive in Church for the 5:30 pm Mass.

I left earlier than usual yesterday because I just couldn't work anymore - I was practically just cleaning my office but not doing anything more productive than that. So, I headed to hear one beautiful Mass, and I just felt sooo light afterwards, the feeling of being lousy the whole day just faded away.

Meeting up with Lyra, Jen, and Denmark - friends from community - after Mass made me realize that I wasn't alone when I complained all day of a lousy, stressful day. They shared my sentiment. True enough, misery does love company - or something to that effect anyhow. We all vented out what a day it's been. Somehow that helped ease everything. Of course with the comfort that only fried chicken skin can provide. To cap the meal, a yummy crepe with Vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce! (Gosh, mentioning food is making me create too many run-on sentences, how lousy is that?!)

Driving home never felt lighter though! So there, my Friday wasn't so bad after all or so I chose for it not to be. I came home with my stomach filled to the brim, and my body oh-so-ready to just surrender to my bed. Say with me now, WHATTA DAY!

Waking up late to a supposed working Saturday morning felt soooo good, hopefully this feeling lasts me all day, as I have a gazillion workload awaiting me at the office. Then again, work can wait, or SHOULD wait - I've been a slave to it the past week - I choose to have a lazy morning just yet and will hit the shower in a bit. I had to give time to my ranting.

Still, I look forward.

P.S. I miss this, blogging and yakking away - this feels good, even if it's just some non-sense ranting and venting! I've found my therapy once again.

Later!!

not too happy friday

2009-02-05T18:15:00.002-08:00

Today didn't start quite right somehow.

I'm not my usual upbeat, jolly self on a supposed "happy friday" - I don't have that TGIF feel somehow. Could it be that I'm PMSing? Could it be that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed? Could it be that the darn internet connection is just pathetic?

Can't figure it out just yet.

For starters, I did wake up fine. Had a fun, fun, fun de-stressing dinner with my girls (and their guys; pathetic me, I know; I was technically 5th wheel!) last night - our joys are pretty shallow; had a sumptuous (and unhealthy!) dinner of Gen's Kitchenette's fried chicken and chicharon bulaklak! Had coffee and dessert after, and just chatted the night away. When I got home around ten, I was awake and all perked up still, I decided to watch two episodes of Dirty Sexy Money - two very interesting episodes, I have to say ;-) I finally retired to bed just before midnight. So see, sleeping was no problem. Neither was waking up to a cold Friday morning!

Had my usual coffee, read Scripture, bonded with Bieni... Hmmm, enumerating what I've been through by far today... if only to find out what went wrong that's making me all pissy...

Hmmm, it must just be the lousy internet connection and constant bugging of YM failing to go online and delaying my sending of files to my secretary for printing. Hmmm, must be that! I swear, despite the workload in front of me, I'm here blogging away. I just had to let it out! Grrrrr.

Trust me, I'm like this just because one thing goes wrong. I'm particularly all pissy today. Must be the PMS! Grrrr again.

Hopefully the ngo hiong that awaits me for lunch will take all the pissy blues away.

***

More thoughts later on - blogging does help. Almost therapeutic!

we're getting married!

2009-02-01T05:05:00.003-08:00

Here's the engagement story as I told it to friends through email a day or two after he proposed:

He's always surprised me in sooo many ways since we met (how we met was even a surprise for both of us) but he pulled the BIGGEST, SWEETEST one on me yesterday! Yes, I knew somehow it was coming, after all we've been making plans for 2009 already and like we told each other, somehow the surprise factor isn't too surprising anymore BUT I'd have to say he did it in a way to ruin that "no more surprise factor notion" - he got me real good!

We were "exchanging gifts" after a sumptuous lunch of chicken barbecue, batikon, pork barbecue, siomai & puso at Baybayon ni Agalon (it's always a first stop for us whenever he comes! We hang out at this beautiful tree house in this resort!). He gave lots of stuff - a pink (!!!) plastic case for my macbook (so it's ok to make it fall na daw - toink), juicy couture perfume, a Tiffany pearl bracelet, my favorite Lindt white chocolates, green tea & Godiva pretzels - the works! Then he opened my gifts for him (shirts with Pinas map on them, football maniac button-down shirt, other stuff i got for him from beijing). He left out a big box with a big ribbon. So I was like, "kadto diay dong?" He casually pretended and said, "aw yeah, that one diay". Asus, when i unwrapped it, it turned out to be 5 other small boxes inside the big box (yep, box after box after box after box) then finally in the smallest box was a stuffed snowman toy, with its hands clasped together, I was admiring it and in my head I was like "what in the world does this mean?" Lo and behold, in between its clasped hands was my engagement ring, I was like, "whats this?" - I honestly thought it was part of the stuffed toy! As in nagsparkle-sparkle man intawn so pwerteng ka klaro!!! He got the ring from me, knelt on one knee, and popped the question, "BAby, this is me asking you, will you marry me?" or something to that effect, I can't remember verbatim kay pwerte naman nako hilak!!!! ha ha ha ha i was laughing and crying and then laughing and then crying again - like crazy yes! but it was the sweetest. I swear!!! What made me cry even more was when he told me about the ring - apparently the biggest stone in the middle is an heirloom from his mother, as in passed from generations past, then the 2 bluish stones beside the biggest center diamond stone are aquamarine, my birthstones, then there are more diamonds around the ring which he bought himself na - so it's traditionally the something old, something new, something blue! wa lay borrowed daw :D as in myyyyygassssss, makahilak jud!!!! I was crying and laughing some more, he was just hugging me, crying and all!

Here are some of the pictures (from my phone camera coz we didn't bring a cam!):

That's my now fiance Pancho with Snowman ;-)
That's my snowman holding my ring - a beautiful one at that; a GORGEOUS one at that!

That's THE box (the biggest of the bunch of other smaller boxes within!)
My beautiful, gorgeous ring!

I've always eyed my Mom's eternity diamond ring and she'd always just retort back, "Make your husband buy that for you! I've long deserved mine!"

So when I saw my ring and saw that it wasn't the typical single diamond stone, and that it turned out to be even more beautiful, I was just overwhelmed with joy and pride! I was proud of my Chooby for coming up with such a beautiful one -

So yes, we're getting married!

August 8th, 2009. Save the date!

blessing after blessing

2008-10-02T20:23:00.006-07:00

I've been lousy (it should be spelled in ALL CAPS really) this past. It's just been totally crazy at work, and call it a faulty time management from my end - it really is.

Nevertheless, here I am once again - what with the 2009 just started to roll... Allow me to look back on the blissful year that 2008 was!

I've always proclaimed boldly, with so much conviction, how I am blissful. I recognize blessing after blessing in my life as coming only from God. Yes, call HIM the One solely responsible for each and every blessing that's come my blissful way. One morning, in my prayer time, I read in a reflection from the book of Psalms: "Whatever the appearances may be at times, true happiness is for those who are faithful to the Will of God." Blissful further defined in my oh-so-reliable Mac dictionary states, "extremely happy", "full of joy", "providing perfect happiness or joy".

With all those said, I really need not say much more. Just the same, there is much more to say. Much more blessings to share. With conviction, I dare say and share:

As written in the Gospel of Matthew 6:33 - "Seek Ye first the kingdom of God and everything will be added unto you." That couldn't have been said any better.

2008, for me, was all about responding to God's call to serve HIM, foremost through Lingkod, the Catholic faith community I belong to, and doing so has fulfilled my very being - desires and joys included. Don't get me wrong - following HIM and spending sooo much of my time in Lingkod activities did not make life perfect for me; the journey, as in all journeys of every single being on earth - saint and sinners alike - was not all smooth-sailing. As in every normal person encounters, life was full of ups and downs, I still went through and fought against so many difficulties and challenges, trials and temptations. I have to say I fought many victoriously, with God as my sole source of strength; other times, I was being the typical worldly person, fighting my way, relying on myself, my wits, my human power - yes, my usual, "I am superwoman, I can do anything myself" righteous mantra. Needless to say, I fell into the traps and drowned myself into the deep pit of worldliness and all that jazz. Shame on me, yes. After all, I am only human. This is who I am, strengths and weaknesses all accounted for. There were moments when I felt unworthy - unworthy to serve Him, unworthy to attend community activities, unworthy to hear Mass, unworthy even to pray. Yes, I wallowed in self-pity, self-hatred at worst.

Talk about being blissful, huh?

Of course, it didn't end there. GOD is truly an amazing One. HE is the only epitome of unconditional love - I've said this one too many times but that's exactly how I would put it - on a very, very personal note.

God's unconditional love is manifested in all these blissful, beautiful joys of the year that was.

*Serving God through community with amazing, inspiring, loving brothers and sisters has been an ultimate, fulfilling source of joy and contentment, completion even I dare say. After a long day's work, when all I can think of is heading home and straight into the comforts of my cold bed and big, fluffy pillows, I attend community activities and suddenly, I am rejuvenated and inspired by the smiles, stories, hugs, and teachings - and I realize all the more that this is as heavenly as it can get here on earth. Imagine what awaits us in our true home in heaven!

*The love only a family, God's basic unit of community, could ever shower you with - my father, ever the stronghold, the sticky glue that keeps all of us together and rooted in God's grace; mother, who is the source of great joy and laughter; my sisters, who I can simply be myself with, who I can laugh and cry with through everything thrown my way, who can be downright honest (and mean, sometimes, if I need it haha) with me about just anything; my little BIG brother, who is as protective as he is loving (in his deadma, nonchalant, macho brotherly way); my super bundle of joy, Bieni, who is my source of daily doses of killer smiles and giggles, who, at age 6, speaks her mind and tests my wits every single day.

This is only my immediate family we're talking about. I haven't yet gotten to the extended family part. And we're a big bunch - headed by our matriarch Mamita - who, this past year - has, of course grown older and seemingly more loving and more expressive at that. As in every single year, she gathers the family for whatever occasion and reason she can come up with herself! We got to travel together as a family this year and visited Beijing where Mamita's favorite (and youngest) son is now based. It was a fun trip, to say the least! (our fun pictures are at my multiply site http://maicarodriguez.multiply.com/photos/album/81/Beijing_in_the_Fall_FREEZING_COLD).

*I wake up every single morning at 6:30 almost always without fail - this astonishes my sisters, my friends! Somehow my body's so used to this, my alarm need not go on before I actually get up! I don't fear Mondays (like most people I know who work do, i.e. my sister who used to work for Kenneth Cobonpue, Pancho who's a banker, etc.), I don't check the clock and wait till it's time to go home (gosh, sometimes I wish there were more hours in a day!), I don't look forward to weekends because that would mean another end of a work week - nope, nope. All these, I feel strongly, are such blessings because my work is a blessing! I LOVE my work. Don't get wrong, working for a family business doesn't make it technically easier just because I'm my own boss and I have my own work time but because I LOVE it simply, I have such passion for what I do. Don't get me wrong, I do have my stressful days - I do have days when I wanna strangle others or myself even! But that doesn't change the fact that I love what I'm doing!

*Ormoc is a beautiful blessing in itself! Everything about it really - specially that people I love are here: my family, my berks (except for you Idamae, but your heart's in ormoc after all), my work & business, my community, many many other things! I wasn't born here but I was raised here, I spent my elementary and secondary schooling here, etc etc etc. Oh well, I think Ormoc feels betrayed now that it seems I'm appreciating it only now that I'm about to leave it (long story, another story altogether) but then again, I've always loved this place - I've always preferred this place over other cities where I could've ended up in. This is where I always dreamed I'd raise my own family, where I'd die and get buried.

*My relationship with Pancho established its beautiful, "official" beginnings in 2008 (during my 26th birthday)! As if to cap our already big year, he proposed to me just as the year was about to end! Yes, Pancho and I are engaged to be married! (the engagement story would be a different blog entry altogether) I remember the moment we hugged after I said yes, I was sobbing like anything and all I could see clearly was the clear blue sky, the calm sea, and the bright sun shining on us, I strongly felt God's love - more than anything, more than my love for Pancho and his love for me, I felt God's GREAT and AMAZING love not just at that moment but all throughout my life! It was just overwhelming!

Truly, at that very moment, I felt that my year was about heeding HIS call, and how HE truly blesses HIS servants faithfully; how HE truly fulfills faithfully HIS promises... ALL IN HIS PERFECT TIME.

reminiscing

2008-09-15T01:30:00.007-07:00

Thanks to Angela for this gorgeous pic from long ago. :-) Seemingly classic, huh?

That's me and Chooby during the "matchmaking days" - thanks to his cousins. End of June 2007.

Look how far we've come, Pantaleon!

found!

2008-09-14T03:22:00.002-07:00

Thanks to the technology of the web, I have been found!!!

When I started this blog a couple of months ago, it was only my sister, Ivi, who ever knew about it - I chose for it to be just that because I wanted this blog to be an outlet for my silliest, deepest thoughts, or whatever would fill my mind and emotions. I never mentioned it to anyone else, not even to my dear Pantaleon, who I talk to and share precisely every silly and deep thought with! Then again, you can never undermine the power of the web!

True enough, an old friend from long ago (too long ago!) surprisingly sent me an email after chancing upon my blog after doing some google research. It was a beautiful surprise to say the least.

Then after mentioning this to Panch a couple of days ago, he laughed and said, "try googling my name". Then I did. Again, my blog came up! Darn that guy, he "found" my blog a month ago and didn't mention it because he didn't want me to stop writing. Baby, only my busy schedule (which has been the case these past months) can ever stop me from blogging away! :-)

To be continued... (Apparently, my schedule is busy as it is even on a Sunday, I'm squeezing this time to mini-blog while in a meeting!)

isang tulog nalang

2008-08-27T16:20:00.003-07:00

Literally meaning "one sleep to go"! Yeah, it doesn't sound grammatically correct, thus the quotation marks! Nonetheless, it means just that! After going to bed tonight, I shall wake up early tomorrow morning, say my prayers, have my brewed coffee, and head on to the airport to pick up my Pantaleon!

We started our countdown the moment he booked his flight back home at a 110 days to go! Can you imagine that? 110! The countdown killed me! That meant 3 months and about 3 weeks!

But GOD has been amazing along the way, blessing us faithfully, showering us with HIS unconditional love and graces - the 110 day journey, as I look back now, has been one wonderful ride for both him and me. After all, it's all been crazy difficult for both of us to be THAT apart THIS long! This and that. Great!

BUT the long wait is over. THANK GOD! I can't thank HIM enough really, but I dare say THANK YOU LORD for the one day that's left between us.

can't wait for my own!

2008-08-14T01:39:00.002-07:00

In addition to my last blog entry, I'd have to say this was one of the most beautiful parts of the wedding. It was quick and short but it was well-edited, well-made, it brought us to tears (yes, again, in addition to the crying I already did on the video itself). See for yourself!

Truly, truly, I can't wait for my own. Franz Arrogante, you better be free for me that day! :-)

i love weddings all the more!

2008-08-09T19:30:00.002-07:00

It was a most awaited wedding - what with it being the first among the apos in our big clan!

Melissa, who's the 2nd oldest grandchild (the eldest being Joefrance), tied the knot with a much deserving guy, now known to the family as cousin number 35, Chichu Seno, on August 2nd. It was such a beautiful wedding, words are not enough to describe it - photos perhaps would, so please click on this entry's title. :-)

As you can see in the photos, it was a Filipiniana-inspired/themed wedding. Color motiff was matte gold and bronze (hmm, there was a more detailed description of the exact shades of the colors I mentioned but I can't recall it as accurately). The gorgeous bride and groom wore Philip Rodriguez - Meli in a tube gown but with a panwelo over it (simply amazingly beautifuL!) and Chichu in a Barong Tagalog, of course. Simply beautiful creations - you can't expect anything less from a Philip creation after all. The rest of the entourage in Ternos by Felix Yu - equally beautiful, I'd have to say!

The ceremony was solemn and simple. The reception was lavish and fun at the lovely garden of White Sands! Thanks to free flowing champagne and other booze, the party was fun as fun could get!

It was such a family affair with everyone flying in from as far as Toronto, Canada!

Till the next wedding in the family, guys! God willing!

de-stressers

2008-07-06T17:05:00.003-07:00

I've had crazy weeks this just past - working six days, instead of my usual five then just having a lazy Saturday (sometimes still at the office but doing just nothing really) but that time has long been gone. Now, it's six crazy days 9-6 every single day. Those and more. Problems with employees (all 240 of them), prices of our product ingredients increasing here and there, regular recosting of our products just to keep everything afloat, the list goes on.

I'm not saying life sucks because of any of those. Every single stressful day, I pray I rise above it and continue to remember how blessed I am. I've said time and again how I have such a blissful life really. I continue to say I can't thank God enough. Amidst and after a long rough day at the office, I am blessed to have the following "de-stressers" I can always count on to keep me sane, to remind me of my simple, blissful life:

*Early morning walks and jogs around the village across ours (the roads around our immediate area are way toooo rocky to have a decent jog!). Armed with my jogging attire and reliable ipod, I walk and then jog some to my cousin Juni's house, to hopefully wake her (so far, she hasn't!!!), then just savor the early morning fresh air and the sun's bright rays while walking, jogging, contemplating on how my day is going to be like. It somehow starts my day right.

*My freshly brewed cup of coffee - a must! This truly starts my day right. Always has, always will.

*BIENI. She is my sunshine. "Ate", she'd call me, and hearing it just simply melts away whatever stress is holding me back, pulling me down, killing me. What with her gazillion questions - a typical trait for any super-smart six-year-old, I take it, and to add, her gazillion and one amazing observations and takes on everything - life, people, places, events. She can be a handful at times - trust me, it gets tiring too, especially when you're dying to get a good night's sleep and she still can't. "Ate," I hear her call out to me again. It just never stops. It also never fails to tug at my heart.

*Bonding time with Mamita... Ever since she's been on "house arrest" (imposed by her doctors, children, grandchildren, and weak knees) more than a month ago here in Ormoc, I've made it a point to spend time with her before I went to the office and right after, on some days, I drop by after hearing Mass at noon. Despite Mamita's loud, booming, typical-Rodriguez voice, just sitting with her, listening to her gazillion stories about her life, is de-stressing enough. I listen to her talk with childlike glee about her love story with Lolo (who passed away even before any of us apos were born), her notorious adventures with Tia Inday (her closest cousin) when they were growing up in Casilda, Puertobello (about twenty minutes' drive from Ormoc), etc. She'd always make it a point to have her help serve me with fruits, food, chocolate - she knows how big my appetite is, it's embarrassing. She enjoys listening to me read her emails from her doctor, the thoughtful Dr. Yuri. She'd ask me every once in a bit about my life - work, my relationship with Pancho, and the like. Mamita is simply amazing. She has her "moments" too every once in a while, but all in all, she's the best grandmother one can ever hope for. Being there for her is more than all the de-stressing I need.

*Chatting with my sisters. Thanks to Skype, chatting with my Cebu-based sister Ivi and Manila-based sister Yani has never been this easy, convenient, and CHEAP! Free at that. What with the advent of webcams, we always talk while looking each other in the eye. We catch up on the latest with each other - weight loss (Ivi's end), gazillion drawings (which are superb, I have to say, Yani), and lots lots more - from the silliest, funniest bit to the more serious ones. Nonetheless, regular catching up with them strengthens the bond we share. Even more so, having them to talk to about anything is simply such a stress-reliever. These girls know me more than anyone else does, they know how to cheer me up when I need it, they know my strongest, weakest points...

*Tuesdays with kids.

Beginning this month, I have been spending an hour on Tuesdays volunteering for catechism classes with 3rd graders at a public school in Bantigue (where my mom grew up), about 15 minutes' drive from home sweet home. My classes with them kids are at 730 in the morning. Yes, 730! Which means I've been waking up and getting ready for my long busy days way earlier than normal the past Tuesdays. It's been amazing! To say the least, the kids light up and start my day right. Every single Tuesday this past month. I realize all the more my passion for teaching little ones. It's fulfilling enough to catch their attention, have them listen intently to everything I say and share. I could see in their innocent eyes their hunger for knowledge about God. Don't get me wrong, it's not all ideal - like in every class, there are the notorious bunch of kiddos, too. It gets crazy at times. But it's fun and fulfilling just the same. And yes, though needless to say, I continue to look forward to each and every Tuesday thereafter.

*PB time. Need I say more? (My sister Ivi would answer a big NO - what with her saying I talk too much about him in my blogs - so yes, am enumerating it just the same but not saying much more.) Simply put, I LOVE THIS GUY TO DEATH.

*Sundays - rain or shine.

This is a Rodriguez tradition through and through. Sundays are kept sacred and by that I mean that it's time alloted - always without fail - to be with the big Rodriguez clan. Most times Mamita heads the always happy, riotous family! It's usually at our family beach house or if everyone's too lazy or too busy (with kids' exams that week and the like), we end up in one of whoever's house, usually Tito Bingcol's (which is like 3 minutes' walk from our home) since they have a big swimming pool and kids just love jumping into it as soon as they set foot at their familiar territory. Needless to say, the food abounds, we like saying, Sundays are feast days. PERIOD. If you starve all week or go on a no-eat diet (yeah, that exists!), Sundays are an exception. You just can't help it - seeing everyone else pigging out, enjoying the yummiest dish! It doesn't end up with the sumptuous lunch. Family time lasts all afternoon, and there are even some Sundays when it lasts till dinner and after. I'm not kidding here. We simply don't get tired of each other's faces! We love chatting, laughing about anything and everything!

*FOOD & "BERKS" (aka friends/cousins).

Food and great friends/cousins make the best company on an uberly exhausting, stressing day! And this happens more often really, what with everything in Ormoc accessible via a 5-10 minute drive. At the end of a pretty long day (darn, sometimes even in the middle of the day), it would just take a single instant message on yahoo messenger or a text message (on more urgent times, a call) to get everyone ready for a quick end of the ranting with snacks, a meal, or whichever suits our ranting mood. All in all, they make the best de-stressing companions.

*Spa, spa, spa.

Thanks to Home Sweet Home Spa, getting pampered with an amazing massage is just a call away! Getting such a gooooood massage just takes all the stresses away and I mean away!!!

*All in all, the best de-stressing among them all is pure quiet time in church. When everything seems hopeless, too exhausting, nothing beats the quiet ambiance and silent feel of the church. Truly the best de-stresser I can recommend - just being able to pour out everything to God, knowing He is the best listener; what's more, He speaks volumes in the silence - directs it to the very heart of the person.

With all those de-stressers... stress anyone?

long overdue

2008-06-27T04:58:00.003-07:00

Life's like that. Or so it says in one of the Reader's Digest regular columns.

I've had so much of life the past week - what with work overload at the office, natural calamities here and there, utmost happiness with my family, fun & laughter with friends, unconditional love from God, inspiration from my community brothers & sisters, pure contentment with PB. Life oh life. Can't get enough of it.

***

I arrived early morning Thursday from Manila. Spent a good, good three days there with family. Flew in Monday (a day before my parents did) and was met at the airport by my sister Iana (who's starting life anew as a fashion design student) and Sam, one of my closest cousins who's presently a Manila resident, what with reviewing and taking exams for her medical career in the US. Life's great! Spent the afternoon and evening with them, shopping on the side, food bingeing on the other (I must say, Manila offers the best in this arena). Those, and catching up on each other's lives. It's funny how life turns out - Sam used to be my roomie when we were in college, now she's housemates with my younger sister. The fun-ner part even was when the following morning, we chatted and video chatted at that with our other cousin, now married and North Carolina-based, Karen, who's about to give birth any time now - it was like the old days - me, Karen, Sam. Sad part is that all three of us are living our own lives, separated by distance, joined by blood and sisterhood. I miss those girls, we practically shared lives together in college, and even through most of our childhood, what with our moms being sisters and then some. Oh well. Life's simply like that - takes us to where we're meant to, having to let go of happy pasts and looking more to the brighter future out there, even if it means growing up and living lives separately - thousands of miles separately.

***

My entire family was granted US visas on Wednesday - of course, less Tingtong who couldn't make it to the scheduled interview because he had an exam. Oh yes, dear Brod is in Med school now and I can't be any prouder!

The whole process was nerve-wracking, what with dear Me up at 3:30 am (for our scheduled 8:00 am interview) because I had to check and re-check our papers - that I didn't miss something out. My greatest worry wasn't even a denied visa - it was more of that I missed out on something and that we wouldn't be interviewed AT ALL. My family - especially my mom who flew in for that (read this: she LOATHES flying) - would kill me! So there, THANK GOD, everything just went smoothly. Visas granted and all, it was such an experience! I'm presuming I don't need to line up that long line and waiting to be questioned and questioned at that during the interview for another ten years??? Crossing my fingers, the visas haven't arrived yet.

***

A couple of things noted:

> I just checked and realized I haven't been blogging for more than two weeks now. It's just been long, I don't even wanna recall as much.

> I've been caught up and recently just finished watching the entire first and apparently ONLY season of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - it's a good watch! I can't imagine why it only lasted a season. Hmmm, now it got me to thinking it must be the Amanda Peet factor. She starred in this series and then another a long time ago - Jack and Jill, which also just lasted a season or two. Hmmm. But I loved both!

> I just had a sumptuous lunch and dessert at Tito Lito's what with it being a Fiesta tradition - it's also my cousin Marvin's birthday, so it's always a sumptuous one every single year. I had my favorite choco-chip pound cake after lunch, and man, needless to say, I am filled to the brim.

My cousins/aunts Joy and Virna (when I was younger, they refused to be called aunts/titas because they're practically just a few years older, or so they claimed), together with their better halves, and I chatted - well, it was mostly them interrogating me again about the present status of my love life. They kept telling me how I should get married soon because I'm not getting younger - what in the world are they talking about, I'm only 26! There it goes again. I should actually get used to this by now - after all, before Choobs and I got together officially, talks about us being in a relationship flew like anything around town; then when we were finally together-together, talks about us getting married soon spread. Darn this whole reality of Ormoc mentality - people presuming ahead, coming up with the juiciest advance news more than anything. PB and I actually just laugh it off, after all, it's good news (it's TOO good a good news) - people around just more excited than we are. Don't get me wrong, both PB and I are super excited, we're looking forward to OUR happy togetherness for always, but we want it according to our own pace. If that wasn't enough interrogating, my younger cousin Alyssa, who's in high school, comes up to me and tells me another juicy advance news - her classmate Carlos, a cousin of PB, asked her when PB and I were getting married because he heard from his Lola that we are getting married already. Whoa. Advance party, get ready! These are all exciting news really. I can't help but be excited, blush and all. Then again, it's just too good a news for now. PB and I wait in eager anticipation, like we always say. God still is the one who knows best. And we leave it all to Him.

> Mamita's back! Finally, after more than a month (almost two???) of her being "stuck" (she used this term herself) in Cebu because of herpes zoster and many other body aches & pains, she's finally home. As soon as she arrived yesterday, I quickly sent a quick text to the entire family about her arriving, then arranged dinner plans - what a BIG dinner it was indeed, considering it was just with short notice. The sumptuous dinner (it's about sumptuous this whole weekend) included CRABS (a family favorite!!!), lechon manok (a safety blanket, for the kids really), spicy beef (YUMMY), and pancit. The crabs did it for us. The highlight of the evening.

Mamita seemed better and more active than the last time I visited her about a month ago. She was up on her feet but still feeling the ache, she walks slower now, and needs assistance as she does so. My only fear is that since she's back home, she'll go back to her hectic every day schedule - attending to her bakeries and farms. She keeps forgetting she's no longer 40, that she's 75 already! I admire her diligence and workaholic attitude, but I think at that age, she ought to be thinking about which country to visit next, instead of worrying about her businesses which are in good hands really. Dang, at that age, I'd have travelled all over the world already, or so I hope I'd be able to. God willing!

Mamita oh Mamita.

She is an admirable woman. She was a widow at a very young age, what with ten kids to raise on her own, the youngest of the brood, Tito Pao, was actually only about 8 when Lolo died. My father, the eldest among the sons, was then a second year Medical student. But of course needless to say, Mamita made it through. Excellently at that. Now, all her kids and grandkids too, take turns in caring for her. I just hope one day she realizes this truly and allows us to. She still fights her way through everything. Hopefully, she lets us return to her the countless favors. She is something. And I truly know that I don't think I'll ever grow old to be even half the amazing, great person that she is.

Life. It is what it is.

Happy fiesta, Ormocanons.

he put HAPPY in OUR "happy friday"

2008-06-15T02:23:00.003-07:00

So I get to the office on a "happy friday" (as my PB would always greet me with)...

Our ever-reliable guard office, Rinald, tells me I have a package, I look at the delivery receipt, and there it was. Another SURPRISE from my Pantaleon! It seemed like a heavy package, the way Rinald carried it and propped it on my desk.

Tan-tanan... Drum rolls again, I hear...

I opened a box filled with all sorts of goodies from First Republic Bank - that's where my PB works. You name it, there it all was...

... from mouse pad to umbrella, visor, cap, diary, notepads, POST-ITS (I soooo love post-its!), stuffed toy (of their bank's "mascot" or something), bags, coloring book, crayons, pen container, pens, mini-flashlights, wine cork opener, luggage tag, mini notepad, stickies, wall calendar, the list goes on!!!

Above is the only non-First Republic Bank goodie! It's a contact lens case, SOOOOO cuuuuttteee!!!

Directly above is the HIGHLIGHT! That's the pen container which could be opened in half, and revealed THIS gorgeous picture of my Pantaleon. Read the note. Darn. That guy. Hahaha.

The surprise was sucha stress-reliever; came just in time (talk about perfect timing again!) after having such a loooongggg week! That guy. Again.

The year-diary thingie was something else. I realized only later on when I skimmed through its pages that he had written something on some dates... THE BEST WEEKS EVER he wrote (quite messily really!) on those 2 weeks last March when he was here. Then he added "Finally once more" on August 29th (yup, he's set to arrive then! God willing!). That got to me, I couldn't help but cry.

Amongst all those sweet-everythings was a card, lilies on the cover page with two dragonflies (he "cheesily" told me it was him and me - tooooo sucky cheesy, PB! Haha!), then an entire letter inside. He wrote about missing me soooo much and how he looked forward to seeing me real soon. Hayyyyy if he only knew how much more I looked forward to it, more than anything! Most importantly, he wrote about the significance of the goodies he sent - that even at work (where he spends most hours of the day at), he thinks of me all the time. He related to me how he told his boss, Sherry, about his little surprise package and how she thought it was the sweetest, how she suggested a few stuff and all. Darn that Leon.

***

"We not only read the same book, on the same page, we read the same paragraph together" - or something to that effect. He says that about us to his friend Reilly.

For the nth time, I love THIS GUY to death.

For the nth time... enough said.

on the long Tuesday and fate

2008-06-10T01:29:00.003-07:00

Choobs and I walked down memory lane today during our afternoon dose of chitchat. It was a good walk, a good talk... reminiscing the oh-so-recent past. We realized it's almost been one year since we first met, how time flies really. But on the other hand, he keeps saying how he feels as if he's known me longer, how it almost seems he's known me forever. I can't argue with that. Cliche-ish as this may sound, I feel exactly the same. Darn again, I love this guy to death. I realize this once again today...

***

I had such a crazy morning, what with work piling on top of the other. As my cousin Monic and I would put it, it seemed like there was a Carlota Hill pile on our desks (read: Carlota Hill is our old home, where Monic and I used to be neighbors), we would then beat each other out by saying, oh it's become a Mt. Apo (the highest peak in the Philippines) already. So the story goes...

Going back to a supposedly and normally cool, calm Tuesday it turned bad for me, oh to put it on better, subtler terms, it was plain crazy. Is that subtle enough? Darn. I had a long crazy morning. What made it worse even was when my broadband connection went dead, I then tried to contact tech support from the local office, but was refused any support, they instead forwarded me to their hotline which took forever and one idiot-of-a-tech-support and a more pleasant one to finally resolve the problem. If that wasn't bad enough, I had to deal with all the animosity at 12 noon!!! I could've eaten them darn tech support alive.

Imagine my intense mood, getting over it only a bit while enjoying a yummy, spicy chicken adobo (thanks to my dear Yani who's now a bum, cooking for me while I took on her workload - I still love you forever Yanininini). Twenty minutes later, I was back in my newly-acquired desk (NO thanks again to Yani).

All those rough, "sapot" times in the morning, I looked forward to taking even a bit of a break and talk to Choobs. Alas, he wasn't Skype-online. Of course I knew he was going straight to the gym from work (to burn off all those "pospas" and adobo he filled himself to the brim the Sunday before at Tita Maite's) but it didn't stop me from wishing he were home instead to cheer me up and de-stress me from work-stress and "sapot". Darn. Then again, reality bites, as in always - hard. I realize all the more once again how very far apart we are, that I can't have him in one snap. That this is our reality. For now, we both keep telling each other.

Then Choobs calls me, I tell him about my very bad morning, I sob, letting out all my frustration - he falls silent, tells me how bad he feels for not having been there for me. Then again I remind him, we both chose this situation, that he wouldn't have known I was going through such a tough morning after all. He says he just wished he were there for me. Darn, I love this guy.

After several attempts of making me laugh, cheering me up with his hilarious antics, I give in. This guy is it. We laugh, fall silent, laugh again.

He tells me how earlier, as he was having spam and eggs for dinner, hanging out at his patio with Dollar and Lady (his adorable dogs), he suddenly thought again about me, us, and how strongly he felt about fate being responsible for us - how he feels everything between us was, is, and continues to be timed almost perfectly every step of the way. He once again said how he feels God was, is, and continues to be behind everything that's going on for us. I was just awe-stricken. After all, I never doubted for one second how I know God has always been behind everything for both him and me, for both of us. But for him to put God in the equation like that (don't get me wrong, Choobs does believe in God and all but he just isn't so vocal about it or is as big a "fanatic" as I am with being vocal about God and community) just got to me... Don't get me wrong again, Choobs and I talk about our faith all the time - we've always shared the same beliefs and values. We may have our differences somewhere, but we don't argue or fight each other out, trying to win over the other; instead we respect each other's differences - with opinions and what-not, letting our values win over; letting our respect for each other win over.

Walking down memory lane, we recall how we both had our "moments" (aka THE moments when we both realized how we felt for each other). HIS was when he was flying home from his visit last year, yes that trip when he met me. He says it was then he realized he liked me, that there was something about me and how we met, that made him pursue things. Pursue he did... MY moment was in September when he didn't call me for four days. It was unusual of course because he called me at least every other day. So when he didn't for four days, that got to me. I got worried, I hated myself for feeling that, for being at all affected. That's when I knew.

***

I hear Mass after work. I thank God for the long day. I thank HIM once again for the beautiful gift that is Choobs and our relationship. Truly, I cannot thank HIM enough. Each and every single day, HE affirms Choobs' presence in my life, even when I falter along the way, even when I don't deserve such a beautiful, beautiful blessing. This and many many more.

once upon a looooong week

2008-06-09T03:09:00.004-07:00

It's been one long week, I'd have to say. So much has transpired. To even recall the past week's day-to-day going-ons is exhausting in itself. Darn.

I guess it's mostly because for the whole week I have been in denial. I have been trying to put aside (or to put it more aptly and bluntly even - I have been ignoring) the very fact that my dear sister Iana is leaving in five (5!!!) days. Last week was endorsement week for us - since she has been handling our HR department for the past two years or so - she had to endorse her entire department workload onto poor me. Workload-wise, it's fine really. I have four efficient secretaries under my turf after all. The denial part was more of the fact that I was not just losing my HR manager, I was losing my sister, friend, confidante, roommate for the past two-three years. My being in denial meant I did not entertain her nor her gazillion files (hard and soft copies alike) until she was so pissed, she sent all the soft copies via Skype send file, it made my dear Mac hang on to dear life, almost "hanging" at that; worse, she practically dumped her other non-soft copy (therefore, those real-deal folder-organized) files onto my desk. Then, with the same effect as those seen in movies, she brought home all her stuff, packing them away in a not-so-movie-fashionable "carton" (a box of one of our stocks). She packed away her stuff. For good. For real. My HR manager has left me.

But the even more painful part is the sight and sign of her leaving home. Her cluttered stuff in our room (it's MORE cluttered than usual; clutter is the normal sight of our room, ask our mother), big big big boxes, her old (antique) sewing machine cleaned and polished, all ready to go to the "malaking lupa" (aka Manila) - yes, she's leaving me to seek "greener pastures", or not quite really - she's going to fashion school end of June. Dangnabbit.

I always knew this was coming, anyway. I've always been ready for this, really. Even from two-three years back, I knew she wouldn't stay long here in Ormoc, I always knew she was meant to be big elsewhere - definitely not here in Ormoc. She was never the laidback-like-Maica type. Like my other sister Ivi (aka Iffy), I always knew she was meant to do greater things out there (out there as in Sydney, Australia - both sisters' dream destination, after they visited that land down under a few years back). Even being ready for all these, it's been difficult to adjust to - it still is, and I know it will be difficult all the more after she leaves. Bracing myself for her departure, or rather bracing myself more for her departure.

***

Today was Monday. It was even longer than the long week I had last week. More than it being a Monday, it was the first official day that Iana was out of the office - what with HR-related calls, my own-related calls, etc etc etc.

At noon, I had to rush to Church to hear Mass. Afterwards, starving and all, my siblings and I went to our favorite Leni's and enjoyed a sumptuous lunch of Angus beef steak!!! Yes, it was perfect timing - truly a BIG monday treat! Yey! My favorite couple Nini and Martin were around to pay their usual courtesy call to their favorite (I presume rightfully) clients - US! Hahaha. Anyhow, my siblings and I decided to "bond over lunch" since our dear only brother (our favorite brother at that, haha) is off to Cebu tonight to start Medical school - yup, he's taken over my throne. Hats off to my lil bro who is little no more, and off to the real world now. We had a serious heart to heart - it became intense at one point but was cooled down by some light bickering. We are blood siblings after all, blood truly won over. We chatted about practically everything under the sun - just the usual catching up really. And more encouragement and "ra-ra" for our dear brod. It was time well-spent with my favorite people. Ivi is off to Cebu, too, after a good looong weekend at home, what with today, a Monday, a holiday at that...

Darn. Come to think of it. I just had one hell of a day, a Monday, a holiday. Darn again. Why in the world did I slave myself on a holiday? Oh well. That's that. The holiday is over. As Choobs would always put it (enduring a long crazy day at work), "Twas just another day in paradise." Phil Collins can't agree any better.

***

At the end of the loooong day, I continue to miss PB. 81 days, we count. 2 months and 3 weeks. Darn. Darn. Darn.

***

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

2008-06-02T21:15:00.000-07:00

I'd have to give it to Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet for their performances! Queer Kate, unsociable Jim. Not quite the perfect match but perfect enough to share a love that knows no bounds - not even a manipulated memory!

I watched this film the first time years ago but never got to finish it, it felt dragging the first half of it. Eventually, after my sister's constant raves about this movie, I watched it again a month ago and finally watch it till the end. No regrets there, really. It was a complex movie, with all its twists and turns, but it was beautiful, to say the least.

To put it simply, it was one of those movies that would affirm the same conclusion about love: that if it's meant to be, it will be - no matter what, when, where, how. There.

breakfast and all that jazz

2008-06-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

I've never been a breakfast person! But I lllloooovvvvveeeeee breakfast food, I can eat them any time of the day! My usual breakfast comprise only of a cup of freshly brewed coffee. That's it! And it lasts me till... ummm, 10am? By then, I'd have to at least have a biscuit! Or on crazier days at the office, my tummy waits till lunch. Poor innocent bituks having to starve because master is busy, trying to earn a living. *sigh* But really, I love freshly brewed coffee, with just a bit of sugar. Love it black and strong, to keep me up and about for the next 12 hours or so! And I'd have to have my second serving after lunch, while chatting with Chooboy. Now that's a different story altogether.

Anyhow, going back to lovinggg breakfast food, I'd have to say the best ones are those shared with people who loves breakfast food as well - hmmm, does that make sense??? (Pardon me, this is one of those no-nonsense, not-too-witty, not-deep-at-all, crazy blog entry - had too much coffee this morning!)

But going back to my point, below are my best breakfast food experiences ever:

1) My sisters and I have this ritual of trying out breakfast buffets at different hotels in Cebu. Yeah, paying that much for breakfast, but at the end of the sumptuous meal, our wallets can't complain. Neither can our tummies (it's too stuffed to say anything, really)! Hats off to the Marco Polo Hotel breakfast buffet - SUMPTUOUS to the nth level! From all the different waffles, pancakes, eggs prepared in different ways, bacon, bacon, and lots of bacon (I LOVE BACON PERIOD), etc etc. Shucks, can't even enumerate all the breakfast gooodies I feasted on that time! Hmmm, I ought to try it again and give a better review... This is just me chatting away. Nonsense again.

2) My family and I took a trip to Kuala Lumpur last year and truly enjoyed the breakfast buffet at Corus Hotel (just a stone's throw away from the Petronas Towers). It was such a feast, as usual, but it was unique in a way that it had a Malaysian touch in all the dishes served. Yumyum, I need not expound. Even if there were weird (weird but yummy, nonetheless) dishes, the staples were served as well - my much needed freshly brewed coffee, lots and lots of rice, eggs, BACON.

3) Even back at home, we're not a breakfast family. My mom wakes up late. It's usually only me and Poppy who get up early, more often than not, we have coffee together. Poppy's staples: a few slices of wheat bread with his fat-free butter (does that really hold true?). There are those days, as well, when my sister would prepare pancakes for our baby sister Bieni. Those are fun, bonding moments I cherish as well.

4) I just shared a beautiful "household" experience with several sisters from my community - our breakfasts were just the best! We served all sorts of breakfast goodies - from the buwad (dried fish), tsokolate (hot cocoa), fruits (and lots of fruits), tosino (sweetened meat, is it?), longganisa (what is this called in english?), chorizo (this again what???), etc etc. On our last day, we had our so-called GRAND breakfast and grand it was! I cooked my favorite french toast (a no-brainer really but they were all in awe at what I prepared! Hahaha), then another sister prepared her famous egg omelette, oh simply D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!!! But what actually made the whole household breakfast experience unforgettable was the joy we all shared in serving each other - cooking for each other, serving drinks, etc for the other sisters, and the like. It was simply memorable. Talk about the best breakfast experience complete with service de luxe!

5) Both Choobs and I share the love for breakfast food - well, all sorts of food really. During his last visit, the day before he was set to leave back for the States, he served me with the yummiest breakfast ever - not even a Marco Polo or a Shangrila buffet could ever beat. It wasn't grand, he cooked the usual sunny-side eggs (our fave!), chicken tosino - but all had a Pantaleon touch that made everything more delicious, more memorable! And what made it more unforgettable was that he served me all the way, he wouldn't let me help out in the kitchen at all! He told me to wait by the couch, go to sleep or watch TV. Talk about spoiling me big time! Darn, I felt I deserved it too, after all, he was leaving me the following day. :( All in all, it was the grandest, most delicious, most unforgettable - as in those breakfasts shared with family and friends. In the end, it's who you share breakfast (and other meals for that matter) with, not just the best breakfast food served. So there, breakfast after breakfast, even for a non-breakfast lover, I look forward to sharing them with loved ones, they make the best, grandest breakfasts after all.

"will you marry me?"

2008-05-31T05:12:00.007-07:00

For many girls/women, this has got to be the most awaited question you'd want your boyfriend to pop! Hmmm, truthfully speaking now, dears. Let's be downright honest here.

Of course, it depends foremost, most importantly, from whom this question is coming from...

From a boyfriend of a decade, come on, it's just about time he does, eh?

From an old flame who refuses to just let be, who pushes his way through, thinking a marriage proposal will bring back the love that's long been gone? Tsk tsk tsk, I dare say.

From a philandering boyfriend who moves heaven and earth to win you back after realizing you are the one, and not the scumbag he cheated you with?

Or from the love of your life, the one you know you're certain you'd wanna grow old with - no ifs, no buts, not a single doubt in your head...?

I've heard of the greatest, most romantic proposals; I've heard of the worst circumstances as well...

To note some, one of my closest cousins Pia was asked that magical question some years ago by the one love of her life, Manz. This magical evening went about - amazingly arranged and prepared for - at the Shangrila in Mactan. Pia somehow saw it coming, she presumed it would. Then again, she was just as surprised when Manuel knelt infront of her, told her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, then asked THE 4-word question. Of course, Pia said YES (she presumed this occasion, after all, she already knew what she was going to answer). Almost five blissful years after, they have a set of twins and expecting more (single ones) kids in the years to come. Manuel was Pia's greatest love, and I reckon the same goes for Manuel.

Melissa, another of my gorgeous cousins, was proposed to at the paradise island of Boracay, during an all-cousins (and then some) getaway last year. It was an amazingly short weekend but it was nonetheless unforgettable, especially since after we got back from the island, we were told of this superb news! Chichu, the lucky guy to capture Meli's precious heart, was supposed to propose to her one early morning (after the all the rains the day before) when they decided to go for a walk. Alas, the previous day's almost-typhoon hindered that beautiful surprise. Still, though, all went well, the YES still coming after he proposed to her by our rooms' patio. It was just as magical! Uniting a love so pure and beautiful. The wedding is set in two months - all of us more eager than usual since this is the first grand wedding from our clan from amongst our generation; the first apo to get hitched, to put it simply.

Martin, then-boyfriend, now-husband of my cousin Juni, proposed (or sort-of, as she put it) to her during their Discovery Weekend in Tagaytay. During the retreat, they both realized they were both ready (and wanted to so badly) to start a new life together. So it went. They had such a beautiful wedding in February.

I've mentioned quite a few of those romantic "will you marry me?" moments, there are some I could mention, but would rather not (hahaha), about not too romantic (more traumatizing, actually) 4-word-question moments.

I write this blog not to share my own moment (it hasn't happened just yet, I know it will in God's perfect time, hopefully not quite too soon just yet hehehe) but to share about one moment in my friend's life when her very own philandering boyfriend proposed marriage to her... Darn, that got me. The romantic in me hugged her with glee, the bigger practical part of me told her straight out to pray for this big big big question. It was only upon hearing of her predicament did this whole oh-so-serious and BIG question become sooo scary, sooo BIG a deal to truly comprehend. Of course it comes with the territory of betrayal. Like I told her even back then, betrayal is one thing I'd never forgive nor forget easily, or not at all. Suddenly, the whole excitement of being proposed to dawned on me, truly, it is most welcome, most looked forward to under the right circumstances, because if it weren't, it would just be another one of those scenarios in your head you'd rather forget or worse, have that part of your brain holding such memory erased (I'm hearing eternal sunshine, eh?). The short-lived hysteria of the whole proposal was just that, short-lived, after taking into account (reality slamming right into our faces five seconds after the whole jumping gleeful me realized the bigger picture) my friend's betrayed emotions, all those three years, and how their relationship has actually turned for the better as soon as her boyfriend realized the great loss, thus trying to win her back now at all costs. Then again, is that enough to make up for such a big mistake (premeditated I'd even like to put it - betraying a loved one is never just an "accident" or something that "just happened). At the end of the night, I bring her aside one corner, told her I was happy for her, but that in the end, it ought to be her decision, what would make her happiest, how I thought she was such a courageous woman, and that her big decision should come with prayer, lots and lots of it...

I can't say I'm an expert in the romantic department because I'm not. I've had four failed relationships - serious, long-term ones at that. I've never been the player-type, never been the type to get involved in short-term flings. So being some failure in that field, I can't say much but speak based on my personal experiences. After all, it hasn't just been too long ago when I've finally found my "golden pot at the end of the rainbow", "the one for keeps"... And to this day, I continue to pray for God's best to truly be revealed in all the beautiful experiences which have unfolded by far. Like I always say, "all in God's perfect time" - I dare say that with conviction.

Having shared all those, I once again end this deep, intriguing plentiful-thought of a blog. Bow.

happy friday

2008-05-30T00:19:00.002-07:00

Pantaleon greets me just this (Happy Friday, baby!) every single Friday without fail. It always has a certain "brightens my day" effect on me... and then some. To put it aptly, his cheery voice calling me almost just as soon as I settle in my desk (as soon as he gets home from work - we live at opposite ends of the world, fyi) just simply starts my Fridays right. tsk tsk

This particular Friday though, oh well, let's just say it didn't start quite right. For one, I woke up at 7:45 when I'm usually up by 6:30! Then I felt even too lazy to get up at once, realizing I was late anyways, might as well be lateR. Oh well. What a way to start a supposed happy Friday.

So there I was feeling lousy and late. Still had my usual dose of freshly brewed coffee, chatted with my dad for a bit, then with my mom (gosh, I felt SO late because SHE was up and about already); I felt even lousier-lateR so I hang out with my little sister, hugging her tight and making small talk with her. Realizing how lousier I was even getting and that I still had to shower, I finally dragged myself to the bathroom, took a long hot shower. Then I felt my Friday was off to a good start now!

Thirty minutes after settling in my desk, my favorite daily caller called - thanks lots to Skype for the free calls, Vonnage when Skype or the internet server go nuts. So there I was, brightly smiling, chatting with Pantaleon as if he was just one block away - contrary to the reality that well, he was (and is) in fact one continent away (as he put it, 6,700++ miles away - darn). Then again, life's great! We catch up (as if he haven't spoken for a decade when we actually just did less than 24 hours ago - awww, bliss) about work and the like. He was gonna watch the Lakers win over the Spurs, so we hang up.

Work went easy. Price increases right and left. Costing review every single day because of every singe week's increase in prices of commodities, product ingredients, etc etc etc. Life in the Philippines, believe you me. Two major ingredients of our bread products increased by over P500 almost overnight, the other by over a thousand. What's wrong with the world, mama?

Chatted with big boss (slash uncle) regarding all these senseless (it really doesn't make sense to me why the government can't do anything at all to protect us from such overnight increases, well, not quite overnight but seemingly so!) but very significant price increases. We talk about how much higher this is going to cost us, etc. Stressing issues. So we de-stress by chatting about how the Lakers were killing the Spurs, only to win by 8 points, taking home the Western Conference title. Great, I think to myself, Pantaleon jumping up and down like a kid now.

Heard Mass during noon, as in every single day for the past month now. Hearing Mass in the middle of the day always brings me such a feeling of calm, rejuvenation, and high & happy expectations for the rest of the day.

Going home for a late lunch is another thing I look forward to daily, what with my Bieni lazily slouched in her corner, watching her usual Disney shows after having lunch. Lazybone. Love that kid lots, still. Such a source of pure delight - I especially love our late night chats, when she talks about the world the way she perceives it to be. It's just nutty, but it continues to amaze me how differently (almost too innocently) kids these days see the world. In their eyes, the world is so pure and simply just the most beautiful creation - don't get wrong, it is true after all. But the world these days? Gosh, I don't have to start. I'll get nowhere with this blog, so I'd rather stick to how Bieni sees it, so beautifully...

Going back to the office after lunch is such a struggle sometimes - some days I actually rush off to work. This particular Friday? I again had to drag myself to the office... I've long given up my noon naps so I could go back to the office earlier after all...

Then the excitement again rises as I get a missed call from Pantaleon, along with his pa-cute message. Darn again. That gets to me. This guy gets to me. Such a kid.

He calls again, we chat, chat, and chat some more. I talk to him about my evening with the girls last night - had a rather interesting one with Lyra, Jen, and Vannie - three of those I look up to with so much respect and admiration. I tell Pantaleon about the funny coincidence that Ate Jen & I realized - his birthday is the same as Nolitz', Ate Jen's significant other. The girls and I talked about relationships (I like how Vannie said: "good relationships are about partners holding hands and looking in the same direction"). I admire Vannie's marriage to Junjun - they are an amazing and almost-perfect tandem! I always say to myself that one day, in God's perfect time, I look forward to having them both as my ninong/ninang in my own wedding. They're simply amazing people. Beautiful ones...

Then Pantaleon and I talk about the Discovery Weekend - it's this 3-day retreat for couples considering marriage or about to get married already. Some of my cousins went through this before getting married and they say it's a beautiful experience, it sure did ready them for the big chapter in their lives. Choobs and I are thinking of attending it when the schedule permits, especially since the next trip he's taking, he's just gonna be around just a week, then the next one for New Year's there isn't a posted schedule just yet. Hopefully there will be one available for us the soonest. For now, we wait in eager anticipation. After all, everything's great for us, with us. We just wanna enjoy the experience of that weekend, and make it serve as a guide for us as we pursue our plans. Hmmm, future plans, am I talking sense here? I'm kinda freaked out at the thought really - is this for real now? I might be a bit scared - this is the very first time ever I actually feel so sure about everything; "not a single doubt", we both say all the time. Then again, all in God's perfect time. For now, I say again, we wait in eager anticipation.

Hmmm, the day isn't over yet. Am still stuck at the office, waiting for some reports, checking some accounts, hmmm. Long friday ahead, I say. But so far, it's been the usual happy friday Pantaleon wishes me... and some more.

through, with, in Him

2008-05-28T16:53:00.006-07:00

I have really discovered that He is the Way. In Him, I have found all that my heart was seeking. In Him, I found peace. In Him, I found joy. In Him I found the reason for my existence. In Him, I found the colors capable of filling, of coloring the sky of my small life.

-The voice of Chiara Amirante, Foundress of New Horizons

I couldn't agree any better. Truly, choosing Him always make the difference in everything. I cannot imagine life without Him in it.

blissful love

2008-05-27T20:17:00.004-07:00

Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you

Ahhh I am such a sucker for romantic movies, love stories (real and reel). It's pretty obvious, as can be seen by my list of favorite movies - many of which are romantic comedies, some more of the serious love stuff. Somehow, even when the movie's all too serious (purely serious), I look forward to the romantic or love-related twist to it. Oh LOVE. I always believed in it. Always have, always will.

This movie will go down in Maica history as one of the most beautiful love stories I've seen. Whether for reel or for real, its unique story transcends all other love stories out there, many of which, believe me, I've either seen or heard firsthand or some experienced firsthand.

I cannot fathom the thought of death of a loved one, let alone a husband and a first true love at that. That is just beyond me as of the moment. Can't imagine it, won't imagine it.

I'd probably deal with death of a loved one the way Holly did - realistically speaking. She locked herself up in their apartment for about a month, crying her heart out, watching old romantic movies, moping around and all. Ending up smelling like ****, I can just imagine so.

I cried my heart out the first time when Holly came home from Gerry's service and she kept calling Gerry's mobile phone, only to keep listening to his voice mailbox to pick up, listening to his voice over and over again...

Then came Gerry's birthday cake present for her a month after his death with a tape which Gerry recorded before he died. Bittersweet, I know. Even more so, letters from Gerry came one after the other, sending messages of love, encouragement, motivation, and more love. Slowly, with Gerry's letters, Holly started living again - reliving how their love started, reminding her of her passions when they first met and living it, despite the agonizing pain she was going through.

It ends with that letter above, Gerry's last.

It was truly such a touching movie and needless to say, I cried buckets, even in the funnier, happier moments.

All in all, I'd have to say that I do pray for the kind of love these two shared, one which rose above and beyond the call of normalcy and the day-to-day kind of love. One which transcends time, death, and even simple expectations.

grosse pointe blank

2008-05-23T22:30:00.002-07:00

A funny movie with a twist of love in between.

Choobs told me to watch this movie, he thought it was funny. It was indeed. Love John Cusack after all, and Minnie Driver's always a fun sight in romantic comedies.

Debbie (Minnie Driver's character) said at the end, "Forgive and forget? Nah, forget about forgiving and just accept."

Hmmm. That quite left a thought or two there.

lousy

2008-05-23T01:35:00.002-07:00

I've had lousier days, really. But just felt like so today.

I feel bad feeling lousy. I actually feel super blessed, I can't thank God enough!

On days like these, I'd like to focus on the highs (I've down this whole highs-lows thing before on blogville) rather than on the lows. Obviously, the highs overshoot over the lows. Then again, the lows are still lows, they still pull out the fun in things, they rob out the life in me...

So it went...

Woke up pretty "late" ("late" as in 5:48 am - yes, am not kidding) - in the context of the past two weeks' household wake-up call at 5:30 am, what with prayer time set at 6:00 am - non-negotiable schedule at that, being that I, myself, set it. Hmmm I'm not making much sense here just yet, bear with me. My brain just half-functioning, really. Sooo, I've been living with 10 other sisters in community for the past week or so now. We have this stay-in retreat-like activity we refer to as a Household - as in, we live together in one household for two whole weeks - we'd wake up together (at 5:30 am at that, like I already mentioned; geez, mind going in circles here), pray together, cook together, share meals together. We continue to do our work, as in every day. We leave the "house" at 8 am to head on to our offices, spend our lunches with our respective families (lest they get used to not having us around), then head back to the "house" at 6 pm, prepare for dinner (clean rooms or bathrooms in between), have dinner at past 7, then we have a night activity (we've had a movie night, taebo, bible study, spa/chill-out night, listened to talks, etc.), then we end the day with our common night prayers.

It's been such a joy sharing a house with these amazing women, each coming from different walks of life. As in the past 2 Households I've joined in the past 4 years, I continue to be amazed by the different stories we share, but more so, I am amazed at how we are all drawn together, spending this much time together, getting to know each other better, establishing deeper friendships, cultivating our sisterhood, and most importantly, how we are all drawn together because of our love for our ever-faithful, equally amazing God.

So there, I needed to let all that out for the lousy in me to be shooed away. Sometimes I just need a slap on the face for me to focus on the better things of the day.

Yes, the lousy is still there (shoo, shoo, shoo now) but a smile is painted on my face now. Appreciating the better side. The brightside. Awww. The life. Can get crazy-lousy at times. Nonetheless, I am reminded of a Love that's never lousy, never crazy... always steady, always unconditional...

Then again I say, I rest my "lousy" case.

tarzan: my hero!

2008-05-19T01:15:00.004-07:00

Presenting my Pantaleon as Tarzan. Circa 1970s.

Isn't he a cutie?

One day, Choobs' dad has guests at home...

Choobs' dad: Hey chooboy, go get your Tarzan picture and show to your titos/titas!

The ever-obedient, once very young kid, then hurriedly ran to their refrigerator, grabbed this picture from among the magnetized stick-ons.

Chooboy: Here you go! (I imagine the huge, wide, proud grin on his face!)

The end.

i love david cook

2008-05-16T01:43:00.002-07:00

This guy is it!!!

got to believe in magic

2008-05-16T00:13:00.009-07:00

This goes out to my sister Effy. Believe. Truly, there is magic in love! You'll see. Of course it's not made of just magic, there's more to it. But the magic's a beautiful thing. I pray you experience it in God's perfect time...

Take me to your heart
Show me where to start
Let me play the part of your first love
All the stars area right
Every wish is ours tonight, my love

Pity those who wait
Trusting love to fate
Finding out too late that they’ve lost it
Never let them go
They will never know the ways of love

Gotta believe in magic
Tell me how two people find each other
In a world that’s full of strangers
Gotta believe in magic
Something stronger than the moon above
Coz it’s magic when two people fall in love

I may never know
Why I need you so
All I need to know is this feeling
Handle it with care
We were born to share this dream, my love

A love story

2008-05-09T17:10:00.001-07:00

Believe me when I say this is going to be loooonnngggg... But it is a beautiful read, too! (It is my love story after all hehehe)

I was such an early bloomer in the romance department. I had boys right and left all throughout my high school, college, and post-college life (shucks, too confident? Naks! Just being honest, am not all too proud of it, really. If I could turn back time, I would patiently wait for THE chooboy. Hehehe). I was always such an anxious person when it came to my love life. At such a young teener, I wanted to have a steady boyfriend soon because if I didn't get one, I felt as if I was never going to get married na! Imagine such shallow logic! Then again, I was a kid. What do you expect?

But after four failed relationships, I grew up, woke up! Realized that man, after depending too much on guys to "complete me" (too Jerry Maguire, eh?) and worrying too much that I don't get married, I overlooked the better things in life - my family, my work, my God, relationships with friends and other people around me.

Being an active part of my faith community guided and molded me to be the most appreciative, least anxious, most independent (only dependent on my faithful God) person that I ever could be. True enough, I started to live, as in truly live, in the light, inspired by God's faithfulness and unconditional love.

So the past two years or so, I committed myself to service to God thru Lingkod, I committed myself to my family, work, business, and building relationships with friends, brothers and sisters in community. I finally spent a good amount of time for myself and for serving others. I put romance and love aside for the mean time. I was always confident naman that God would bless me in that aspect of my life when I was ready to. I just didn't expect HE would bless me so soon - not that I'm complaining; I definitely am not. :)

Choobs and I talk a lot about everything that's unfolded for us - all the unexpected events, little and big surprises along the way - and we keep telling ourselves we wouldn't want it any other way, we wouldn't even want a single detail changed in our love story. We thank God every single day for each other and for the beautiful love story HE created for us...

Date: Early January 2007

I get a text message from high school chum, Dianne, telling me she was getting married and that she wanted me to be part of her wedding entourage. I was of course delighted. I lovvveeee weddings! Although Yang2 (as we fondly called her since high school) and I belonged to a pretty close, tight batch of 42 graduates in high school, she and I were not THAT close. She's a great person, really, but she was really one of the shy ones (sometimes, anyhow!) and I, on the other hand, belonged to the noisy bunch! Fast forward to a month or two after, she texted me again telling me she wanted me to be her maid of honor. Whoaaa! I repeat, we were not that close in high school, so as much as I was honored to be maid of honor, I just felt I shouldn't, couldn't be. Shouldn't any of her sisters or her bestfriend play that role? Nonetheless, I simply couldn't say no to Yang2. She's one of the sweetest persons I know. Our families were friendly, so I didn't have a reason really to beg off. So there, I was her maid of honor on her June wedding...

Date: Early June 2007

I just came from a trip to Singapore and arrived about two weeks before her wedding, when I got home and got her wedding invitation. It was only then thateverything made complete sense. Yang2 and her matchmaking ploy!

Saw my name alright, right next to a Pancho Boy Larrazabal. Hmmm, the name quite rang a bell.

Pancho Boy.

Date: flashback to about October 2006

About a year before "everything made complete sense", my mom came home from a party and was giddily telling me about wanting to set me up with "this guy". Apparently, she got to chat with Pancho Boy's mom at the party, they were both sharing about having single kids blah blah blah blah blah. My response was of course, "Ma! Stop setting me up!" Knowing my mom, she just laughed and said, "sige na gud dai!" Of course that was just it. The next day, his name came up again. Surprisingly, I got a call from a very good friend, Lyra. THe conversation went (almost verbatim!)...

*Lyra: Dai, haguy si manang brau di jud muhunong ug pangutana about nimo dai. Mangayo syag email address nimo kay ihatag nya sa mama ni Pancho Boy.

*Maica: Ha? My gosh tita ly, mao gihapon na gi ingun ni mama ipares nya nako!

*Lyra: Lagi dai, excited kaayo ang mama pud ni pancho boy. Ako bitaw gi-ingnan si manang brau mananghid pa ko nimo.

*Maica: Tita ly uy, weird mana muhatag ko. I don't mind if I meet him but not that way. Hahaha (laughter on both ends)

--- to translate it simply: Lyra's older sister, Tita Brau, is very good friends with Pancho BOy's mom. Tita Brau was asking Lyra for my email address so she can give it to Pancho Boy's mom so they could set us up blah blah. Obviously, I said no, it would be too weird. So there.

Date: back to early June 2007

So upon seeing Yang2's wedding invitation and seeing both our names on the entourage (he, a best man at that), of course I immediately saw it was all a set-up, subtly and uniquely arranged! Brilliantly arranged, I'd have to add.

Like I could do anything about it, I put the thought aside, but not without texting Yang2 that I knew what she was trying to do. She just laughed at me!

Date: June 18, 2007

The night before her wedding, she asked me to come to her grandparents' house to discuss last minute assignments for the big day. I saw a set-up playing again but I couldn't say no, so I showed up instead a bit later than usual...

I arrived with funny, teasing faces in Yang2, her hubby-to-be Lito (who I just met that evening), and her sisters. I shrugged off the thought. I just kept smiling and smiling. I greeted everyone - Yang's mom, their friends, and last but definitely not the least her Lola Rosie. What followed was a conversation that would be most unforgettable...

*Me: Good evening, tita!

*Lola Rosie: Huy dai, ngano karon paman ka? Nakalakaw na nuon ako manok!

*Me, in my puzzled look, "manok???" I asked myself.

*Lola Rosie to her friends: Sus, mao ni ako ipares sa ako apo. Si Pancho boy bah.

*Everyone else: Haguy, ka bagay jud!

*Everyone else to me: Dai uy, angay kaayo mu ni pancho boy!

Then I fainted...

Nahhh, too dramatic! But I wished I did!!! I could feel myself blush to the nth level.

Pancho boy, that name again. Where was he? Why was everyone setting us up?

Who is he anyway? How did he look like?

So obviously he wasn't there anymore, like his Lola said, "nakalakaw na nuon ako manok!"

I'd have to admit that by now, the curiosity was growing in on me!

Date: June 19, 2007 - THE day

On Yang's wedding day, we had our make up done and all the necessary preparations at their hotel. Still no sign of Pancho boy. Yang's sister, Darol, would ask me nonstop if Pancho boy and I finally met... The eternal question.

Fast forward to the church...

Waiting in line, I notice a bunch of guys here and there, I have to admit again I was curious. My sister, Iana, was getting more curious and impatient than I was. Every guy we didn't know who would pass by us she'd point at and identify as "uyyy mao na guro nah!" We'd laugh our hearts out at every guy we'd identify as THE pancho boy. Our only clue was what our cousin Rica (who's cousins with pancho boy too) said, that he was "chubby".

I finally spotted him at the altar or near it, whatever. There were three best men, just like there were three of us, maids of honor, me and two of Yang's sisters. Amongst the best men, I knew one since he was a cousin, the other two I wasn't familiar with. One was chubby, the other short, to say the least (lurve yah, JD, wherever you are!). So I figured, I finally identified him. I could finally put a face to a name I've been hearing for the past year since...

Little did I know that that name would mean more in the coming months...

During the wedding mass I caught Darol (yang's sister and my brother tingtong's good friend) pointing to me, as if directing "those guys across us" to me... Of course I knew she was telling pancho boy that I was Maica... Duh, not so subtle, Da! ;)

On to the reception, I was the recipient of the eternal question, "so, have you and pancho finally met?" too many times I was too tired to count. Of course I was all smiling and laughing about it. I've never been set up with anyone ever before so this was all new to me.

So, we finally met.

My cousin (and his, too) Igoy brought him to our table, casually went, "Bai, meet my cousin, Maica. Maica, this is Panchoboy." He was all smiling and nice, "Hey, pleasure to meet you." or something to that effect, can't remember exactly. I was, like, "hey, nice to meet you too" or something again to that effect. Believe me when I say, all eyes were on us... We didn't chat or anything after that but he sat beside me and chatted with everyone else on our table (his cousins, some mine, too, on the other side of the family, of course). I can't remember what we did chat about when we had the chance to, little somethings, I guess. Just about it. The wedding reception went on, with all the traditional achoo-choo (aka stuff, thingies I have no idea what they're called exactly, thus the reference), of course, the unending set up came with it. The bouquet was literally "given" to me. Pancho boy did get the garter, he put the garter on me, so and so and so. Everyone cheered on, obviously, as expected.

That was basically it. After the wedding reception, Igoy arranged the night out after. We went karaoke-ing. Of course with Igoy, being the trying hard matchmaker, brought me and Pancho Boy along. It was awkward really, we just met that night, and we knew we were being set up. But then, the "super game" people that we were, we played along.

The karaoke night was lots of fun, actually. He seemed to be a pretty fun guy. I sang. He sang. It was crazy, we both sounded horrible! But like I told him thereafter, hearing him sang so horribly actually inspired me to sing! At the end of the night, I said "So, see ya around then!" And I honestly thought that was it. Despite the fact that Ormoc was a pretty small city, I didn't expect that I'd "see him around".

Fate wouldn't stop there though. Neither would eager cousins.

The following night, we all ended up seeing each other at Pardis (a resto, favorite hang-out of cousins since it's owned by three of our cousins - 3 of my fave people in the world, Kito, Igoy, and Monic). I was with friends, he was with cousins. He joined our table and we chatted for a bit. No big talk, really. Just little chitchats.

Just about it.

Three days after, he FINALLY gave me a call. Not FINALLY in the context that I wanted him to so badly. Nothing of that sort. I simply didn't expect much from the meeting really. True, I thought about it, but just that. I didn't expect much from it. Period. But he did call (apparently, he got my number from Igoy).

*Me: Hello?

*Panch: Hi Maica, it's Panch.

*Me: I'm sorry. Who?

*Panch: It's Panch.

*Me: Panch?

*Panch: Panch...Um, Pancho boy bah.

*Me: Oh. Panch. Hey, what's up?

I'm serious there. He hates his "Pancho boy" nickname. He's no longer a little "boy" daw.

When we both look back on that first call he made, we laugh. Sweet.

That first conversation was short. But sweet. We laughed a lot. I thought to myself, hey, he seems like a pretty cool guy. Funny, too. I liked funny.

He called again a few days later. And then again. And again. We met up a couple of times after too, but usually with the same group of his cousins and some of our common cousins, too. The setup and teasing were unending. But as in always, we were both cool about everything.

The night before he left, his cousins organized a little despedida at his family's hotel. It was kinda awkward again, what with all the teasing even the night before he was leaving. Hellooo, what did these guys expect from a two-week meeting? Nonetheless, we chatted almost the entire evening. He sat beside me (it took him a while to do that, no thanks to his "torpe" blood) and we just chatted. It was something, I'd have to say. Yes, it was too soon to say (duh!) but it sure was one memorable evening...

Again, I thought that was it. Thought I'd never hear from him again. Of course, he did ask for my email address, he had my mobile number and all. But still, there's no guarantee in anything and I simply just didn't expect much from meeting him.

The following day, he called me from the airport. That I didn't expect... again. But he did call. We chatted again. He made me laugh again. It was fun... again.

He finally left. And again (!!!) I thought that was it. Again (I should stop saying this!).

The same evening he arrived in LA, he sent me a short but SWEET text, just telling me he was back home, and that he'd call me soon. Awww.

He did call me about two days later. And again a couple of days after. And again.

And again. And again. It soon became nonstop. He'd call more often. Always, always, we'd talk about anything and everything under the sun. We shared so much - stories about our lives, views on things, outlook on life; we talked funny stuff, deep thoughts, brilliant ideas; literally, anything and everything...

As much as I didn't expect much from it, every single conversation we had, every laughter we shared, I'd realize how much joy he was bringing to my every day. I started to really really look forward to his every call...

Even so, romance was not expected (I speak for myself on this or so I convinced myself this). Although he'd say sweet nothings every once in a while - missing me and stuff but there was not a mention on feelings, emotions, and the like.

Date: Early September 2007

A couple of months after he went back home, I was surprised one morning when I got to the office and there sat a package on my desk. There were LBC USA stickers all over the box. Then there I saw his name: Pantaleon Larrazabal Jr.

Oh my gosh. A package from him. Hmmmm...

Trust me, opening the box slowly (which irked my sister, she wanted me to tear it apart as soon as possible, she was way more emotional than I was, believe me!) brought out the kid in me, uber excited to see what was in store for me. I could have jumped up and down with excitement - but of course I had to stop myself; I could see my secretaries' eyes on me, watching my every reaction - so I had to look "cool" and "composed".

Alas, it was open...

*drum rolls please*

First, out came a stuffed pug puppy! Soooooo cute, looked exactly like my pug pups (my then 3 year old pug - may she rest in peace - just gave birth to 3 lovely pups about a month before the package came)!

Then came out all the "pop corns" (tubelike styro thingies serving as cushion for the stuff in the box). Hmmm what else could be there?

Then his card. Super the sweetest one I've ever gotten my entire life! (front: a fish bowl with moving fish-looking creatures; inside he wrote - in his ugly handwriting - still love you for it, choobs - "Dear Maica, Just wanted you to know that I'm swimming around in circles thinking of you... Talk to you soon. - Panch"

There.

But there was one more. The best ever surprise. (This was when I knew, hey, this guy must really like me!)

Last but definitely not the least: He sent me a beautifully framed black and white photo of both him and me the night before he left, at his despedida party. (say with me now, awwww.)

My sister Iana actually got teary-eyed. She goes, "awww, I never even had to train him yet to be this sweet." (a bit of history: Iana used to help out my ex-boyfriends to surprise me; she'd help them in figuring out what to give me, etc.)

It was just the sweetest thing, to say the least.

Choobs is very fond of surprises. He knows how much I love them. Although I know how he loves to surprise me, I still am amazed and still gets surprised (!) every time he pulls a new one on me...

Date: Last week of September 2007

Despite his little surprises and regular calls, he never expressed much. Sweet nothings that I didn't take too seriously. Up until one late September day when he said it all... Even during his first few calls when he was still here in Ormoc, he seemed to really be the shy, "torpe" guy ("torpe": tagalog, adjective; "usually" a guy having too much difficulty to express how he feels). Obviously, I had quite a feeling that this guy likes me, after all, why in the world would he call me that often and talk to me that long? But he never once "said" something really.

So that particular September day, he finally blurted out how he felt: that he liked me, missed me like crazy, and was looking forward to seeing me again. He said he wanted to tell me all those things in person but he couldn't wait any longer... He added how he felt that everything about our meeting was so "fateful"; he said "the stars just aligned perfectly" when we met. Apparently, that trip he took to attend Yang's wedding (and met me) was only his 2nd trip/visit (the last was a year before and for only a couple of days at that) ever since he and his family migrated to the US about 17-18 years ago... He'd always say, "what were the chances I'd meet you?" But we did. Awww.

It was the way he said it, it was just the cutest thing. I didn't say much really. That was it. I can't remember what I said next. But I know I didn't say anything significant. (He would tell me later on how bummed out he was.)

Date: Mid-October 2007

I was on my way to Manila for a seminar. A day before, we got into the whole "serious talk" mode and he told me again how he felt, how I never responded, how he didn't really know anything from my end, that he was willing to wait anyhow... I couldn't say anything back again. I was dumbfounded. Of course I'm sure it was quite obvious how I liked him back - why in the world would I set aside my 2-4pms for him almost every single day??? Then again, I couldn't say it that way. He continued to tell me how he wanted "that light at the end of the tunnel", he was wondering if I wanted the same thing. I was quiet still.

That got me thinking all day. Obviously I wanted "that light", too. So I told him that. But I added, "Let's talk and deal with it when you come back here." After all, this was all long-distance, what would we expect from it, really? Would it work out?

If yes, how???

Date: Mid-December 2007

Meant for each other. He said this when one December day, I got to the office and got a package from him again. His Christmas present. A Hermes perfume. Sweet. Am not much of a perfume kind of girl but I loooovvvveeeddd it nonetheless, he chose it after all. There's always something to it. But the beauty to that day did not end there... After I opened the package and read the card, I texted him and thanked him for it. I knew he was still at work then. He got my message when he was on the way to dinner with his colleagues. After dinner, he immediately went home, hoping to call me. But he got the biggest surprise when he got a package from me, too. Yes, technically, on the "same day". He was just amazed and couldn't help it. I had sent him a week before that day a couple of books (funny, comic booklets) and a table calendar (with the sweetest message, I'd like to think hehehe: "am counting the days till you come home" - yes, thus the calendar). He was just aaaamazed. He sounded like a kid when he called me. "What are the chances, kiddo?" (We called each other that during that time. Hohum.)

Date: Early January 2007

Surprises didn't end there. (I'd like to think they never will.)

I knew his parents were coming home this month for his lolo's 80th birthday. All his dad's siblings and their spouses were coming home for this big event. Of course, I wished more than anything for him to come, too. But it was tough at work...

It was one lazy Sunday afternoon and I was working at Tita Rina's, checking stocks from the previous year, doing inventory, and all those stuff.

A white Strada pick-up arrives. Unfamiliar. A driver came down, looking for me. I was like, "Ngano man ta, noy?" Then the now-known Noy Bastian said, "Aw dai, diay gipadala si Panchoboy. Nangabot man gud ang mga taga-America."

I know, another AWWWW moment.

He sent one paper bag of goodies (chocolates, yankee candles, and other assorted stuff - he would explain each goodie for whatever they meant); the sweetest of which? A gold-globe-like-thingie. He said: "My world revolves around you." Enough said.

A week after, I eventually ran into his mom at a cousin's wedding (a common cousin). It was such a funny meeting, with all eyes on us, excited for us, to say the least. It was something again, and I still can't help but laugh when I remember the very moment we met, introduced to each other, and when she gave me such a big, warm hug. Super. I always knew how excited Tita Evelyn was for us to meet but Choobs kept telling her that he would prefer that he be the one to introduce us to each other. Sorry baby, we beat you to it. :)

Date: A day before Hearts Day

I was supposed to leave for Cebu on Valentine's Day to "chaperone" my sister and her boyfriend. Alas, I chose to savor the event with other "single" cousins here in Ormoc. But I failed to inform my Choobs (not mine yet back then hehehe) about the change of plan, hence his surprise came a day before THE day. I was driving back to the office when I met along the way Dianne's car on the way to our house, or so I presumed. I drove along anyhow. Iana and Carlo (her beloved) dropped by the office on their way to the boat to bring Choobs' presents: a big bouquet of red roses, the romantic Pepe Le Pew (revealing too much, more than he ever did!), and a very "heartfelt" card, as he put it.

Needless to say, I had the best Valentine's Day, despite the fact that I was "single" that day.

It was early, early January when he suddenly talked about visiting me. Finally. He told me how he wanted to surprise me but was scared that he'd travel all the way to visit me and I'd end up too busy to see him or worse, that I might not be around. Good points. But the surprise would've been something. (His sister, Meia, was bummed out that he told me, that he didn't surprise me! Trust me, I was pretty bummed out, too!) So we discusses things, as to when the best time was to visit me, how he planned his leave at work, and all.

I was sooo ecstatic, it was unimaginable! But then again, there was the whole "fear" issue - what if meeting him in person would be all too weird and different? What if we wouldn't click as much in person as we did over the long conversations we had on the phone? What if...? There were more what ifs really. It was crazy. But the best part about everything was being able to talk to him about everything - how we felt about the whole thing, how it was gonna be like for both of us, all the what ifs and other fears...

One of the too-many cute conversations we had:

Choobs: Are you as excited as I am?

Maica: I don't how excited you are, so I don't know. But I am excited.

Choobs: Are you as happy as I am?

Maica: I don't know how happy you are, so I don't know. So, how happy are you?

Choobs: Very, very happy. I can't really describe it in words.

Awww.

If he only knew how excited I was. Like a little child awaiting the best birthday present ever. Big difference is that I was an excited big girl, awaiting for her prince charming, hoping he is THE one she's been waiting and praying for...

Date: the most unforgettable March ever (March 2-17, 2008)

So my long-awaited prince charming came.

All those fears and what ifs? Gone. They were all gone (as if they never existed at all) the moment he stepped into my home and gave me the biggest hug. We talked all night, just as excitedly, interestingly as we did on the phone. It was just amazing! We did so till about midnight.

The days that followed were a blur of too many good moments all rolled into just two whole weeks. We spent almost every waking moment together. And if it wasn't enough, we'd still chat on the phone after spending the entire day together. Ahh, pure bliss. I can actually make a rundown of every single detail of every single day of his trip (I've practically memorized them by heart - yeah yeah), but I'd rather put them in a list of some sort...

Like, the top ten most memorable, most awwwww moments:

1) That first giant hug we shared the night he arrived - that evening erased every single fear, every single worry that we had; because that first night, we chatted and connected as much as we did on the phone the past nine months!

2) Seeing my parents' excited faces, my brother Tingtong cooking for that first dinner at home with him; Choobs and Poppy just hit it off - they talked the whole evening!

3) Our lunch dates at Agalon - the first lunch date we ever had was at Agalon; we spent the morning just hanging out at the now memorable treehouse, where we just chatted the whole morning, talking about us...

It was during this day at Agalon at the treehouse when he first held my hand. It was the sweetest, most awwwww moment.

Our second lunch date there was exactly a week after the first lunch date. We had a mini-picnic, bought some barbecue and puso, and just spent a simple, quiet lunch still at the treehouse.

The treehouse.

4) Spending time with him, his cousins, and mine. All those karaoke nights, drinks here and there, food tripping. Cousins made the trip all the more memorable.

5) His birthday surprise/s.

It was a happy one - happy as happy can get.

He came in the morning with a plastic bag in hand. He then started to pull out gift after gift.

First was a present from his mom, a beautiful white bag. Sooo sweet and thoughtful!

Next was from Mayette, his cousin. A box of Godiva chocolates! It was just sooo thoughtful!

Lastly, he pulled out a birthday card and a blue Tiffany box with a quaint white ribbon.

I read the card first. Ohhh so typically sweet Panchoboy.

I slowly opened the box and saw it. A cute silver chain bracelet, with my initial and hearts engraved on the charm pendant.

Simply the sweetest.

Again, the surprise didn't end there.

He brought me to one of his family's restaurants, we ordered in food, sat down, and had a sumptuous lunch.

Right after lunch, I saw the waiter come along with a cake of Strawberry Shortcake! My birthday cake!

Apparently, he arranged the whole thing. He ordered a cake, asked help from his cousin Julia.

It was just the sweetest. Him lighting all 26 candles (coz the darn waiter didn't! Choobs got all sweaty after lighting those candles), "singing" for me a happy birthday song, me blowing all my candles... Ahhhh. Pure birthday bliss.

Trust me, it was the best birthday EVER.

6) Meeting families.

He met my family, had dinner with them; he met the big Rodriguez clan, met my mom's sisters...

The same way, I met his lola and lola from his dad's side, and his "mommy" from his mom's side.

Those were memorable moments. Nerve-wracking, yes. But more so, they were most memorable.

Meeting his Lolo and Lola was something - of course I've technically met them a couple of times already before but this was different, this was somehow in the context of me with Panchoboy. Me and Panchoboy. I'll never forget the look on Lola Rosie's face when he and I had dinner at their hotel one evening, Panchoboy brought me to greet them, his Lola excitedly said: "Hi dai! Sige, go, kiss saimu Lolo Sabin!" Imu. Choobs and I had to contain our giggling! That was really something! That didn't even end there. We ended up having lunch at their house the day Choobs and I left for Cebu a few days before he was to leave for California. Again, she goes on showing me the pictures of Choobs' uncles and aunts (his dad's siblings) and their families, saying, "Dai, mao ni imu Tito, Tita..."

I should stop. Hahaha. I was blushing like anything! To the nth level, believe me. Choobs stood there, just giggling like a little kid. He enjoyed that scenario and would tease me endlessly about it. Lunch with his family was fun, I got to know how they were as a family, his Lolo is such a sweet old man.

In Cebu, I met his "Mommy" who is actually his mom's mother. A very sweet, funny Ilongga, Choobs is his favorite apo (technically, there's just Choobs and his younger sister Meia; Choobs' mom is an only child), and I saw how doting she was!

Truly, those were memorable meals shared with both our families! Unforgettable first meals at that!

7) "Needle in a haystack."

That's how he defined me to his cousin, Igoy. Since Igoy is also my cousin from the other side of the family and we've known each other longer, he told me about how Choobs described me to be. Of course, another awwww moment. He never told me straight-out about it, although of course I know he loves me and cares so much for me. Those he'd say and show straight-out.

I remember confronting him about it, teasingly. Trust me, he blushed his own version of blushing! He couldn't believe Igoy would tell on him. I couldn't believe he was that cheesy. All 33 years of him. But it was the sweetest thing.

8) His singing!!!

The first night we met, we hit it off albeit not so romantically just quite yet, but we sure had loads of fun singing the songs at Bistado.

Hence, we relived that first night we met by spending quite a few nights karaoke-ing during his visit. Believe me, we are both not singers, not even close. We both sing horribly! But with the help of his singing coaches, Ida & Angela (not quite you, K, not quite! You sound as horrible as he does!), he belted out a couple of cheesy love songs for moi!

His karaoke songs for me???

Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore by Reo Speedwagon and Superstar by the Carpenters (although we both love the version of Sonic Youth from the movie Juno)

Trust me, if our relationship didn't have much of a strong foundation, I would've been turned off by his singing or lack of it thereof. Hahaha.

But alas, I'm in this for the long haul.

And it's been pure bliss, believe me.

Ahhh. Pure love bliss. Blissful love.

9) Just chillin' with him...

The two weeks he was here, he and I both spent much time just relaxing, talking, being quiet, just enjoying each other's company... At home (while my mom would casually "pass by" - aka spy), at the beach (spent an afternoon at Plantation Bay, just enjoying the summer heat, the pool, the scenery, bliss!), at the spa, at the mall (just "malling" - he loves that coined term!), at the movies, at Bebidas (enjoying coffee with cousins or just by ourselves), at almost every nook and corner of Ormoc - driving around... Ahhh. Pure bliss. Truly. Madly. Deeply.

10) After missing him for almost two months now, we will finally see each other again in 111 days, come August 30th, his 34th birthday. God willing!

It's been almost two months since he left, yes. And it's been TOUGH - all caps at that. Don't get me wrong, everything's been super for us. We talk regularly, every single day at that - as soon as he gets home from work and before he goes to bed. We continue to share just about everything under the bright sun and through the rains. Oh what am I saying? We just feel sooo blessed to have each other. We truly can't thank God enough!!! The ONLY reason why it's been tough is the fact that he's there, and am here. 7,000+++ miles at that, if I'm not mistaken... Oh well. Life can't be that perfect, aight?

So with his next visit, we're both ecstatic, just sooo excited!!! Like little kids once again, awaiting each other's loves. Ahhh. Bliss. Blissful love. I just can't stop saying that. Thank God!

That said, I end the countdown.

But not the love story. For it has only just begun.

I believe in my heart that more than the "fateful meeting", more than "the stars that aligned perfectly when we met", more than the matchmaking scheme of family and cousins, God has much in store for both of us... And we continue to pray that one day, in His perfect time, that we not only be a match made by others but more so, that we be a match made by God in heaven...

In Memory of Tita Ching

2008-05-05T01:11:00.003-07:00

It has been an annual family tradition to escape to a beach during summer.

This has been carried out since time in memorial.

This has become more annual than ever ever since Tita Ching passed away in 2000. She was such a great loss to our family. She was Poppy's younger sister and a beloved aunt. She loved the beach, so when she passed it just felt right to devote our summers to doing what she always loved to do - escape to a summer place with the promise of sunny, white sandy beaches, and endless swimming.

The kids who never had the chance to meet Tita Ching knows her by name, knowing this family tradition started with her, because of her.

In her memory, with her memory, we celebrate her in every summer vacation we take, in every white sandy beach we walk on & create sand castles on, in every blue sea we explore...

*click on title for the link to the pics

This just in!

2008-05-05T00:56:00.004-07:00

This just in!!!

Exciting news!!!

Sooo happy and weeee, excited!!!

Choobs is spending his birthday (August 30, his 34th, geez) here with me. Yeyyy! God willing!

Ooooohhhhh. So excited!!! Can't contain myself almost!!! But got to!!! It's still 4 months away, technically. And he has to confirm with his boss and all. But still, it's exciting already!!!

He last came to be with me to celebrate my birthday with me. Then this, he's spending his birthday with me! Yeyyy again! With me. Again and again and again.

It's just going to be a 10 day visit, but I don't care. 10 days better than none at all.

Yahoooo!

cyberspace autograph

2008-05-01T01:16:00.002-07:00

A couple of blogs ago, I posted a childhood favorite pastime of "signing autographs". Here's a version that's more fun. I copied it from my cousin Vincent (aka Kuyang)'s blog. Oooohhhh this is getting me excited!!!

99 things about Maica

001. Real name: Maria Cara Tan Rodriguez (was named after both my grandmas Maria and Carmen)

002. Nicknames:

Maica, Maca, Miac, Cay (aww, an old boyfriend called me this)

003. Married: Nope, single as single can get!

004. Zodiac sign: Pisces (not that it matters)

005. Male or female: Sooo female

006. Age: 26

007. Highschool: Saint Paul's School (Ormoc)

008. College: Velez College (Cebu)

009. residence: Live in a beautiful home in Ormoc City (hey, this is still public, that's all I can say hahaha)

010.Hair color: Hair's too black to handle, believe me!

011. Long or short hair: Shoulder-length

012. Smoke: Nope

013. Drink: Socially, yes

014. Available: Nope. I'm in such a beautiful relationship.

015. Are you a health freak: Definitely not. My cholesterol level can vouch that.

016. Height: 5'2 1/2

017. Do you have a crush on someone?: Nah, loyal to the Choobs.

018. Do you like yourself: I do.

019. Piercings: Oh yeah, the two earring piercings.

020. Tattoos: Definitely none

021. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS : 022. First surgery: None so far

023. First piercing: no piercings 024.

024. First best friend/s: Christina Codilla

025. First award: Modestly speaking, I was almost always the first honor awardee since I was in Playgroup! Hahah

027. First pet: My first very own pet was a Labrador retriever named Judo.

028. First vacation: Hmmm, life's a vacation for me. Always is.

029. First concert: Shucks, I can barely remember. First one in my head is a Boyzone concert in Cebu. Yikes. The baduy days. Hahaha

030. First crush: A boy named Joey

CURRENTLY:

049. Eating: None at this exact moment!

050. Drinking: Just had my afternoon dose of hot coffee and a glass of water.

052. Im about to: hear Mass

053. Listening to: Bette Middler (feeling the oldies)

FAVORITES

054. Food: chicken skin, beef barbecue & chicharon bulaklak at Pardis

055. Drinks: Am such a coffee person so that has got to be it.

056. Colors: pink, turquoise blue, apple green, sunny yellow

057. Numbers: 7

YOUR FUTURE

058. Want kids: of course!

059. Want to get married: of course! In God's perfect time!

Careers in mind: Being a good, good housewife and mother. I honestly feel successful enough now as a struggling businesswoman, helping out with the family business. So I long for God's perfect time when He blesses me with a good husband and children! Long way to go, yes, but that's the only career that I have yet to accomplish! Hahahaha

WHICH IS BETTER?

068. Lips or eyes: Eyes

069. Hugs or kisses: Hugs and kisses

070. Shorter or taller: Doesn't matter, really

072. Romantic or spontaneous: both work for me

073 . Nice stomach or nice arms: Still doesn't matter

074 . Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

075 . Hook-up or relationship: Relationship definitely

077 . Trouble maker or hesitant: Neither

HAVE YOU EVER

078. Kissed a stranger: Nope. I don't intend to.

079. Drank bubbles: How does that work?

080. Lost glasses/contacts: Thank God, not ever. Yet. Never want to.

081. Ran away from home: Nah

082. Liked someone younger: Oh yes!

083. Older: Oh yes!

084 . Broken someones heart: Oh yes!

085. Been arrested: Nope.

086. Turned someone down: Oh yes!

087. Cried when someone died: Oh definitely.

088. Liked a friend: Definitely! Last time I did, "Friend of Mine" was my theme song - pathetic, I know!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. In yourself: Of course!

090. Miracles: Oh yes!

091. Love at first sight: That definitely isn't love there.

092. Heaven: Of course!

093. Santa claus: Never

094. Sex on the first date: Nope

095. the more you hate, the more you love: Can't really say

096. Angels: Oh yes!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :

097. Is there one person you want to be with you right now?: Definitely! The Choobs. My Choobs.

098. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at a time?: Definitely not.

099. Do you believe in God?: Oh definitely! Definitely yes! Can't imagine life without Him.

precious

2008-04-28T20:26:00.005-07:00

Art by my adorable baby sister Bieni.

Precious, aren't they?

"... that your joy may be complete"

2008-04-26T09:33:00.007-07:00

So it says in the Gospel of St. John.

The whole chapter from where I got this verse (or part of it anyhow) from talks about Jesus being the Vine, God being the Vine Grower, and we, the branches... that apart from Him, we can do nothing... that to bear fruit, the Vine Grower prunes us.

It could've been said any better.

This whole month, that has been one constant message. Joy. In God. With Him. Through Him. Only Him.

***

Two thoughts, beliefs, truths pretty much summed up tonight's prayer meeting with the girls: faith and eyes fixed/focused on God.

We talked about JOY, in the context of lasting joy - in and through everything. In and through all the ups and downs of life; in and through all the weaknesses, strengths, and what have yous... about finding joy in everything - the littlest, pettiest of happy things to the biggest of all afflictions.

It's not a walk in the park, believe me.

I have been in community for years now and it's been one amazing, wonderful journey. But it hasn't been a bed of roses.It has been one rough ride, too, what with moments of strengths tested, drowned in all weaknesses, temptations abounding, the list goes on...

But lasting Joy is about finding it in Christ Jesus, in a life committed to living for Him and Him alone.

For truly, when one commits His life to God, all else has meaning. All else makes sense.

I speak for myself here when I say that I have been always blessed with almost everything. I have been raised well, I've had such a blissful childhood, I belong to an amazing family, and I can think of a million more reasons to say I am simply simply blessed by God. Almost spoiled even.

But when I look at those times when I was way up there, enjoying the triumph of a blessed life, and thinking to myself that I accomplished all those for myself, it just didn't make sense much. Or there was a certain void or incompleteness that sucked the life out of the triumph I was experiencing. Something was somehow amiss.

Modestly speaking, I finished my entire early education in elementary and high school almost always at the top of the class. I was always sure of myself and of the things I wanted to accomplish. And I did accomplish many, most even, of them. And I always believed that I did it, I accomplished all, by myself. Simply because I felt I was good. I was very good. But at the hype of it or after the hype, I simply go tumbling down. It was like reaching the top of the mountain successfully, then I could no longer figure out what was next to do, so I rolled down back to the ground...

But ever since I devoted myself to God and struggling to live my life for Him, even the simplest of things I appreciate. Even the smallest of blessings, I see His hand in them. Everything suddenly just had meaning. Suddenly, reaching the top of the mountain meant so much more because I acknowledged the One Being who brought me up there. This time, after reaching the top, I don't simply roll down back to the ground. Instead, I savor the feeling on top and I appreciate all the beauty I see from the top, I look back in awe at the journey toward the top... everything has meaning, all makes sense. All lead back to God. I am appreciative.

That is the difference. Drawing joy from my faith.

Through the bad times, I am reminded to look beyond the difficulty. My friend Junjun always reminded me that when these tough times come, instead of asking and questioning God, "Why God why?" I should be asking Him, "What are you trying to tell me in all these, God?"

Again, choosing joy over wallowing in sorrow when these afflictions arise. Choosing faith. Focusing on God, believing always that He will see us through and won't allow us to drown in difficulty.

***

Life is blissful, truly.

Joy in Him, through Him, with Him.

here's looking at you, kid

2008-04-26T00:49:00.003-07:00

I finally watched that well-loved classic!

It was a bittersweet love story, but beautiful, to say the least. A unique story about love during the time of war, love in the midst of Hitler's Germans invading the rest of Europe.

A story of selfless love.

Ahhh love. The beauty of it.

a long day's reward

2008-04-23T06:15:00.003-07:00

I love Ormoc - for the laid back life that it offers; for places to go to that are technically just a five-ten minute drive (banks, restaurants, movie theater, etc.); for having so much family around (trust me, this can become such a non-perk too!)... All in all, it's the feel of the city, of the warm people around - you meet people and can smile at anyone on the road.

I'm not saying it's all perfect, too. It has its own share of idiosyncrasies, too - what with nosy people (aka relatives) always watching your every (wrong) move and making a fuss about anything and everything; crazy tricycle/multicab/jeepney drivers who don't move to the right side to let passengers up or down, they stop at the MIDDLE of the road (beat that!)...

But it still all boils down to one important factor in every person's life - family. Ormoc is about family. Ormoc is about home. Being at home with family.

****

At the end of one long work day - after having such a heavy headache that lasted all day, after being "sapot" with people or instances during the course of the day, when, after working from 9 till past 5 and still feels you've not done much; simply put, after having such a rough time in the office - it is such a treat to just have a relaxing evening ahead - and am not talking about going straight to bed relaxing. I mean, the de-stressing that cousins/friends provide - through conversations and laughter over lots and lots of food (sisig, chicken skin, lotsa rice!!!). Such is life.

Such was today - one long, HOT Wednesday!

But meeting up with the "berks" at the end of the day made today seem not too long a day anymore.

Presenting the amazing berks:

Angela aka Hely, Tsiler, Tshily - such a happy soul, makes me laugh just when I need it. Uber talented, she just opened her boutique TSHILYS and I'm just sooo proud of her!

Monica aka Boodik, Boodak, Berkydude, Kaikai - such a calm, patient, contented, loving soul; she's a happy listener and one of the best friends one can ever wish to have; she's such a hard worker, I admire her financial management ways (aka TIHIK to the nth level)

Ida Mae aka Iderns, Idernsmae, Mae-mae, Tiki, Tikling, Dada - the spicy, cool, collected soul; the life of the group; the hungry-all-the-time-but-still-remains-skinny berky in the group; love her for her spunky, crazy, zany ways

Julina aka Juni, Nilar, Nini - definitely the emotional soul; she's funny, charming, accommodating, uber thoughtful! she's happily married now, and we're all expecting her to have a baby soon!

They make Ormoc harder to leave. (Of course it's enough that it's crazy difficult to leave my parents, Bieni, Mayong's, and Lingkod already!!!)

Ida, in her no nonsense way, today said without a blink, without even looking at me (just concentrating on her food - what else is new?), "I don't want you to leave, Maics." To that, of course, I had to throw back: "Look who's talking, miss-i'm-leaving-for-scotland-soon."

There. We got what we both needed to hear.

More food, more laughter, more conversations. More. We finally called it a night, but not before we planned on our next berky de-stressing activity: Tagalog movie marathon on Saturday - now that's what I call total weeklong-destressing!