***
I had such a crazy morning, what with work piling on top of the other. As my cousin Monic and I would put it, it seemed like there was a Carlota Hill pile on our desks (read: Carlota Hill is our old home, where Monic and I used to be neighbors), we would then beat each other out by saying, oh it's become a Mt. Apo (the highest peak in the Philippines) already. So the story goes...
Going back to a supposedly and normally cool, calm Tuesday it turned bad for me, oh to put it on better, subtler terms, it was plain crazy. Is that subtle enough? Darn. I had a long crazy morning. What made it worse even was when my broadband connection went dead, I then tried to contact tech support from the local office, but was refused any support, they instead forwarded me to their hotline which took forever and one idiot-of-a-tech-support and a more pleasant one to finally resolve the problem. If that wasn't bad enough, I had to deal with all the animosity at 12 noon!!! I could've eaten them darn tech support alive.
Imagine my intense mood, getting over it only a bit while enjoying a yummy, spicy chicken adobo (thanks to my dear Yani who's now a bum, cooking for me while I took on her workload - I still love you forever Yanininini). Twenty minutes later, I was back in my newly-acquired desk (NO thanks again to Yani).
All those rough, "sapot" times in the morning, I looked forward to taking even a bit of a break and talk to Choobs. Alas, he wasn't Skype-online. Of course I knew he was going straight to the gym from work (to burn off all those "pospas" and adobo he filled himself to the brim the Sunday before at Tita Maite's) but it didn't stop me from wishing he were home instead to cheer me up and de-stress me from work-stress and "sapot". Darn. Then again, reality bites, as in always - hard. I realize all the more once again how very far apart we are, that I can't have him in one snap. That this is our reality. For now, we both keep telling each other.
Then Choobs calls me, I tell him about my very bad morning, I sob, letting out all my frustration - he falls silent, tells me how bad he feels for not having been there for me. Then again I remind him, we both chose this situation, that he wouldn't have known I was going through such a tough morning after all. He says he just wished he were there for me. Darn, I love this guy.
After several attempts of making me laugh, cheering me up with his hilarious antics, I give in. This guy is it. We laugh, fall silent, laugh again.
He tells me how earlier, as he was having spam and eggs for dinner, hanging out at his patio with Dollar and Lady (his adorable dogs), he suddenly thought again about me, us, and how strongly he felt about fate being responsible for us - how he feels everything between us was, is, and continues to be timed almost perfectly every step of the way. He once again said how he feels God was, is, and continues to be behind everything that's going on for us. I was just awe-stricken. After all, I never doubted for one second how I know God has always been behind everything for both him and me, for both of us. But for him to put God in the equation like that (don't get me wrong, Choobs does believe in God and all but he just isn't so vocal about it or is as big a "fanatic" as I am with being vocal about God and community) just got to me... Don't get me wrong again, Choobs and I talk about our faith all the time - we've always shared the same beliefs and values. We may have our differences somewhere, but we don't argue or fight each other out, trying to win over the other; instead we respect each other's differences - with opinions and what-not, letting our values win over; letting our respect for each other win over.
Walking down memory lane, we recall how we both had our "moments" (aka THE moments when we both realized how we felt for each other). HIS was when he was flying home from his visit last year, yes that trip when he met me. He says it was then he realized he liked me, that there was something about me and how we met, that made him pursue things. Pursue he did... MY moment was in September when he didn't call me for four days. It was unusual of course because he called me at least every other day. So when he didn't for four days, that got to me. I got worried, I hated myself for feeling that, for being at all affected. That's when I knew.
***
I hear Mass after work. I thank God for the long day. I thank HIM once again for the beautiful gift that is Choobs and our relationship. Truly, I cannot thank HIM enough. Each and every single day, HE affirms Choobs' presence in my life, even when I falter along the way, even when I don't deserve such a beautiful, beautiful blessing. This and many many more.
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