"will you marry me?"

For many girls/women, this has got to be the most awaited question you'd want your boyfriend to pop! Hmmm, truthfully speaking now, dears. Let's be downright honest here.

Of course, it depends foremost, most importantly, from whom this question is coming from...

From a boyfriend of a decade, come on, it's just about time he does, eh?

From an old flame who refuses to just let be, who pushes his way through, thinking a marriage proposal will bring back the love that's long been gone? Tsk tsk tsk, I dare say.

From a philandering boyfriend who moves heaven and earth to win you back after realizing you are the one, and not the scumbag he cheated you with?

Or from the love of your life, the one you know you're certain you'd wanna grow old with - no ifs, no buts, not a single doubt in your head...?

I've heard of the greatest, most romantic proposals; I've heard of the worst circumstances as well...

To note some, one of my closest cousins Pia was asked that magical question some years ago by the one love of her life, Manz. This magical evening went about - amazingly arranged and prepared for - at the Shangrila in Mactan. Pia somehow saw it coming, she presumed it would. Then again, she was just as surprised when Manuel knelt infront of her, told her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, then asked THE 4-word question. Of course, Pia said YES (she presumed this occasion, after all, she already knew what she was going to answer). Almost five blissful years after, they have a set of twins and expecting more (single ones) kids in the years to come. Manuel was Pia's greatest love, and I reckon the same goes for Manuel.

Melissa, another of my gorgeous cousins, was proposed to at the paradise island of Boracay, during an all-cousins (and then some) getaway last year. It was an amazingly short weekend but it was nonetheless unforgettable, especially since after we got back from the island, we were told of this superb news! Chichu, the lucky guy to capture Meli's precious heart, was supposed to propose to her one early morning (after the all the rains the day before) when they decided to go for a walk. Alas, the previous day's almost-typhoon hindered that beautiful surprise. Still, though, all went well, the YES still coming after he proposed to her by our rooms' patio. It was just as magical! Uniting a love so pure and beautiful. The wedding is set in two months - all of us more eager than usual since this is the first grand wedding from our clan from amongst our generation; the first apo to get hitched, to put it simply.

Martin, then-boyfriend, now-husband of my cousin Juni, proposed (or sort-of, as she put it) to her during their Discovery Weekend in Tagaytay. During the retreat, they both realized they were both ready (and wanted to so badly) to start a new life together. So it went. They had such a beautiful wedding in February.

I've mentioned quite a few of those romantic "will you marry me?" moments, there are some I could mention, but would rather not (hahaha), about not too romantic (more traumatizing, actually) 4-word-question moments.

I write this blog not to share my own moment (it hasn't happened just yet, I know it will in God's perfect time, hopefully not quite too soon just yet hehehe) but to share about one moment in my friend's life when her very own philandering boyfriend proposed marriage to her... Darn, that got me. The romantic in me hugged her with glee, the bigger practical part of me told her straight out to pray for this big big big question. It was only upon hearing of her predicament did this whole oh-so-serious and BIG question become sooo scary, sooo BIG a deal to truly comprehend. Of course it comes with the territory of betrayal. Like I told her even back then, betrayal is one thing I'd never forgive nor forget easily, or not at all. Suddenly, the whole excitement of being proposed to dawned on me, truly, it is most welcome, most looked forward to under the right circumstances, because if it weren't, it would just be another one of those scenarios in your head you'd rather forget or worse, have that part of your brain holding such memory erased (I'm hearing eternal sunshine, eh?). The short-lived hysteria of the whole proposal was just that, short-lived, after taking into account (reality slamming right into our faces five seconds after the whole jumping gleeful me realized the bigger picture) my friend's betrayed emotions, all those three years, and how their relationship has actually turned for the better as soon as her boyfriend realized the great loss, thus trying to win her back now at all costs. Then again, is that enough to make up for such a big mistake (premeditated I'd even like to put it - betraying a loved one is never just an "accident" or something that "just happened). At the end of the night, I bring her aside one corner, told her I was happy for her, but that in the end, it ought to be her decision, what would make her happiest, how I thought she was such a courageous woman, and that her big decision should come with prayer, lots and lots of it...

I can't say I'm an expert in the romantic department because I'm not. I've had four failed relationships - serious, long-term ones at that. I've never been the player-type, never been the type to get involved in short-term flings. So being some failure in that field, I can't say much but speak based on my personal experiences. After all, it hasn't just been too long ago when I've finally found my "golden pot at the end of the rainbow", "the one for keeps"... And to this day, I continue to pray for God's best to truly be revealed in all the beautiful experiences which have unfolded by far. Like I always say, "all in God's perfect time" - I dare say that with conviction.

Having shared all those, I once again end this deep, intriguing plentiful-thought of a blog. Bow.

happy friday

Pantaleon greets me just this (Happy Friday, baby!) every single Friday without fail. It always has a certain "brightens my day" effect on me... and then some. To put it aptly, his cheery voice calling me almost just as soon as I settle in my desk (as soon as he gets home from work - we live at opposite ends of the world, fyi) just simply starts my Fridays right. tsk tsk

This particular Friday though, oh well, let's just say it didn't start quite right. For one, I woke up at 7:45 when I'm usually up by 6:30! Then I felt even too lazy to get up at once, realizing I was late anyways, might as well be lateR. Oh well. What a way to start a supposed happy Friday.

So there I was feeling lousy and late. Still had my usual dose of freshly brewed coffee, chatted with my dad for a bit, then with my mom (gosh, I felt SO late because SHE was up and about already); I felt even lousier-lateR so I hang out with my little sister, hugging her tight and making small talk with her. Realizing how lousier I was even getting and that I still had to shower, I finally dragged myself to the bathroom, took a long hot shower. Then I felt my Friday was off to a good start now!

Thirty minutes after settling in my desk, my favorite daily caller called - thanks lots to Skype for the free calls, Vonnage when Skype or the internet server go nuts. So there I was, brightly smiling, chatting with Pantaleon as if he was just one block away - contrary to the reality that well, he was (and is) in fact one continent away (as he put it, 6,700++ miles away - darn). Then again, life's great! We catch up (as if he haven't spoken for a decade when we actually just did less than 24 hours ago - awww, bliss) about work and the like. He was gonna watch the Lakers win over the Spurs, so we hang up.

Work went easy. Price increases right and left. Costing review every single day because of every singe week's increase in prices of commodities, product ingredients, etc etc etc. Life in the Philippines, believe you me. Two major ingredients of our bread products increased by over P500 almost overnight, the other by over a thousand. What's wrong with the world, mama?

Chatted with big boss (slash uncle) regarding all these senseless (it really doesn't make sense to me why the government can't do anything at all to protect us from such overnight increases, well, not quite overnight but seemingly so!) but very significant price increases. We talk about how much higher this is going to cost us, etc. Stressing issues. So we de-stress by chatting about how the Lakers were killing the Spurs, only to win by 8 points, taking home the Western Conference title. Great, I think to myself, Pantaleon jumping up and down like a kid now.

Heard Mass during noon, as in every single day for the past month now. Hearing Mass in the middle of the day always brings me such a feeling of calm, rejuvenation, and high & happy expectations for the rest of the day. 

Going home for a late lunch is another thing I look forward to daily, what with my Bieni lazily slouched in her corner, watching her usual Disney shows after having lunch. Lazybone. Love that kid lots, still. Such a source of pure delight - I especially love our late night chats, when she talks about the world the way she perceives it to be. It's just nutty, but it continues to amaze me how differently (almost too innocently) kids these days see the world. In their eyes, the world is so pure and simply just the most beautiful creation - don't get wrong, it is true after all. But the world these days? Gosh, I don't have to start. I'll get nowhere with this blog, so I'd rather stick to how Bieni sees it, so beautifully...

Going back to the office after lunch is such a struggle sometimes - some days I actually rush off to work. This particular Friday? I again had to drag myself to the office... I've long given up my noon naps so I could go back to the office earlier after all...

Then the excitement again rises as I get a missed call from Pantaleon, along with his pa-cute message. Darn again. That gets to me. This guy gets to me. Such a kid.

He calls again, we chat, chat, and chat some more. I talk to him about my evening with the girls last night - had a rather interesting one with Lyra, Jen, and Vannie - three of those I look up to with so much respect and admiration. I tell Pantaleon about the funny coincidence that Ate Jen & I realized - his birthday is the same as Nolitz', Ate Jen's significant other. The girls and I talked about relationships (I like how Vannie said: "good relationships are about partners holding hands and looking in the same direction"). I admire Vannie's marriage to Junjun - they are an amazing and almost-perfect tandem! I always say to myself that one day, in God's perfect time, I look forward to having them both as my ninong/ninang in my own wedding. They're simply amazing people. Beautiful ones...

Then Pantaleon and I talk about the Discovery Weekend - it's this 3-day retreat for couples considering marriage or about to get married already. Some of my cousins went through this before getting married and they say it's a beautiful experience, it sure did ready them for the big chapter in their lives. Choobs and I are thinking of attending it when the schedule permits, especially since the next trip he's taking, he's just gonna be around just a week, then the next one for New Year's there isn't a posted schedule just yet. Hopefully there will be one available for us the soonest. For now, we wait in eager anticipation. After all, everything's great for us, with us. We just wanna enjoy the experience of that weekend, and make it serve as a guide for us as we pursue our plans. Hmmm, future plans, am I talking sense here? I'm kinda freaked out at the thought really - is this for real now? I might be a bit scared - this is the very first time ever I actually feel so sure about everything; "not a single doubt", we both say all the time. Then again, all in God's perfect time. For now, I say again, we wait in eager anticipation.

Hmmm, the day isn't over yet. Am still stuck at the office, waiting for some reports, checking some accounts, hmmm. Long friday ahead, I say. But so far, it's been the usual happy friday Pantaleon wishes me... and some more. 

through, with, in Him

I have really discovered that He is the Way.  In Him, I have found all that my heart was seeking.  In Him, I found peace. In Him, I found joy.  In Him I found the reason for my existence.  In Him, I found the colors capable of filling, of coloring the sky of my small life.

-The voice of Chiara Amirante, Foundress of New Horizons

I couldn't agree any better. Truly, choosing Him always make the difference in everything. I cannot imagine life without Him in it. 

blissful love

Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you

Ahhh I am such a sucker for romantic movies, love stories (real and reel). It's pretty obvious, as can be seen by my list of favorite movies - many of which are romantic comedies, some more of the serious love stuff. Somehow, even when the movie's all too serious (purely serious), I look forward to the romantic or love-related twist to it. Oh LOVE. I always believed in it. Always have, always will.

This movie will go down in Maica history as one of the most beautiful love stories I've seen. Whether for reel or for real, its unique story transcends all other love stories out there, many of which, believe me, I've either seen or heard firsthand or some experienced firsthand.

I cannot fathom the thought of death of a loved one, let alone a husband and a first true love at that. That is just beyond me as of the moment. Can't imagine it, won't imagine it.

I'd probably deal with death of a loved one the way Holly did - realistically speaking. She locked herself up in their apartment for about a month, crying her heart out, watching old romantic movies, moping around and all. Ending up smelling like ****, I can just imagine so.

I cried my heart out the first time when Holly came home from Gerry's service and she kept calling Gerry's mobile phone, only to keep listening to his voice mailbox to pick up, listening to his voice over and over again...

Then came Gerry's birthday cake present for her a month after his death with a tape which Gerry recorded before he died. Bittersweet, I know. Even more so, letters from Gerry came one after the other, sending messages of love, encouragement, motivation, and more love. Slowly, with Gerry's letters, Holly started living again - reliving how their love started, reminding her of her passions when they first met and living it, despite the agonizing pain she was going through. 

It ends with that letter above, Gerry's last.

It was truly such a touching movie and needless to say, I cried buckets, even in the funnier, happier moments.

All in all, I'd have to say that I do pray for the kind of love these two shared, one which rose above and beyond the call of normalcy and the day-to-day kind of love. One which transcends time, death, and even simple expectations. 

grosse pointe blank

A funny movie with a twist of love in between.

Choobs told me to watch this movie, he thought it was funny. It was indeed. Love John Cusack after all, and Minnie Driver's always a fun sight in romantic comedies. 

Debbie (Minnie Driver's character) said at the end, "Forgive and forget? Nah, forget about forgiving and just accept."

Hmmm. That quite left a thought or two there.

lousy

I've had lousier days, really. But just felt like so today.

I feel bad feeling lousy. I actually feel super blessed, I can't thank God enough! 

On days like these, I'd like to focus on the highs (I've down this whole highs-lows thing before on blogville) rather than on the lows. Obviously, the highs overshoot over the lows. Then again, the lows are still lows, they still pull out the fun in things, they rob out the life in me... 

So it went...

Woke up pretty "late" ("late" as in 5:48 am - yes, am not kidding) - in the context of the past two weeks' household wake-up call at 5:30 am, what with prayer time set at 6:00 am - non-negotiable schedule at that, being that I, myself, set it. Hmmm I'm not making much sense here just yet, bear with me. My brain just half-functioning, really. Sooo, I've been living with 10 other sisters in community for the past week or so now. We have this stay-in retreat-like activity we refer to as a Household - as in, we live together in one household for two whole weeks - we'd wake up together (at 5:30 am at that, like I already mentioned; geez, mind going in circles here), pray together, cook together, share meals together. We continue to do our work, as in every day. We leave the "house" at 8 am to head on to our offices, spend our lunches with our respective families (lest they get used to not having us around), then head back to the "house" at 6 pm, prepare for dinner (clean rooms or bathrooms in between), have dinner at past 7, then we have a night activity (we've had a movie night, taebo, bible study, spa/chill-out night, listened to talks, etc.), then we end the day with our common night prayers.

It's been such a joy sharing a house with these amazing women, each coming from different walks of life. As in the past 2 Households I've joined in the past 4 years, I continue to be amazed by the different stories we share, but more so, I am amazed at how we are all drawn together, spending this much time together, getting to know each other better, establishing deeper friendships, cultivating our sisterhood, and most importantly, how we are all drawn together because of our love for our ever-faithful, equally amazing God.

So there, I needed to let all that out for the lousy in me to be shooed away. Sometimes I just need a slap on the face for me to focus on the better things of the day. 

Yes, the lousy is still there (shoo, shoo, shoo now) but a smile is painted on my face now. Appreciating the better side. The brightside. Awww. The life. Can get crazy-lousy at times. Nonetheless, I am reminded of a Love that's never lousy, never crazy... always steady, always unconditional...

Then again I say, I rest my "lousy" case.

tarzan: my hero!

Presenting my Pantaleon as Tarzan. Circa 1970s.

Isn't he a cutie?

One day, Choobs' dad has guests at home...

Choobs' dad: Hey chooboy, go get your Tarzan picture and show to your titos/titas!

The ever-obedient, once very young kid, then hurriedly ran to their refrigerator, grabbed this picture from among the magnetized stick-ons.

Chooboy: Here you go! (I imagine the huge, wide, proud grin on his face!) 

The end.

i love david cook

This guy is it!!!

got to believe in magic

This goes out to my sister Effy. Believe. Truly, there is magic in love! You'll see. Of course it's not made of just magic, there's more to it. But the magic's a beautiful thing. I pray you experience it in God's perfect time...

Take me to your heart
Show me where to start
Let me play the part of your first love
All the stars area right
Every wish is ours tonight, my love

Pity those who wait
Trusting love to fate
Finding out too late that they’ve lost it
Never let them go
They will never know the ways of love

Gotta believe in magic
Tell me how two people find each other
In a world that’s full of strangers
Gotta believe in magic
Something stronger than the moon above
Coz it’s magic when two people fall in love

I may never know
Why I need you so
All I need to know is this feeling
Handle it with care
We were born to share this dream, my love

A love story

Believe me when I say this is going to be loooonnngggg... But it is a beautiful read, too! (It is my love story after all hehehe)

I was such an early bloomer in the romance department. I had boys right and left all throughout my high school, college, and post-college life (shucks, too confident? Naks! Just being honest, am not all too proud of it, really. If I could turn back time, I would patiently wait for THE chooboy. Hehehe). I was always such an anxious person when it came to my love life. At such a young teener, I wanted to have a steady boyfriend soon because if I didn't get one, I felt as if I was never going to get married na! Imagine such shallow logic! Then again, I was a kid. What do you expect?

But after four failed relationships, I grew up, woke up! Realized that man, after depending too much on guys to "complete me" (too Jerry Maguire, eh?) and worrying too much that I don't get married, I overlooked the better things in life - my family, my work, my God, relationships with friends and other people around me. 

Being an active part of my faith community guided and molded me to be the most appreciative, least anxious, most independent (only dependent on my faithful God) person that I ever could be. True enough, I started to live, as in truly live, in the light, inspired by God's faithfulness and unconditional love. 

So the past two years or so, I committed myself to service to God thru Lingkod, I committed myself to my family, work, business, and building relationships with friends, brothers and sisters in community. I finally spent a good amount of time for myself and for serving others. I put romance and love aside for the mean time. I was always confident naman that God would bless me in that aspect of my life when I was ready to. I just didn't expect HE would bless me so soon - not that I'm complaining; I definitely am not. :)

Choobs and I talk a lot about everything that's unfolded for us - all the unexpected events, little and big surprises along the way - and we keep telling ourselves we wouldn't want it any other way, we wouldn't even want a single detail changed in our love story. We thank God every single day for each other and for the beautiful love story HE created for us...

Date: Early January 2007

I get a text message from high school chum, Dianne, telling me she was getting married and that she wanted me to be part of her wedding entourage. I was of course delighted. I lovvveeee weddings! Although Yang2 (as we fondly called her since high school) and I belonged to a pretty close, tight batch of 42 graduates in high school, she and I were not THAT close. She's a great person, really, but she was really one of the shy ones (sometimes, anyhow!) and I, on the other hand, belonged to the noisy bunch! Fast forward to a month or two after, she texted me again telling me she wanted me to be her maid of honor. Whoaaa! I repeat, we were not that close in high school, so as much as I was honored to be maid of honor, I just felt I shouldn't, couldn't be. Shouldn't any of her sisters or her bestfriend play that role? Nonetheless, I simply couldn't say no to Yang2. She's one of the sweetest persons I know. Our families were friendly, so I didn't have a reason really to beg off. So there, I was her maid of honor on her June wedding... 

Date: Early June 2007

I just came from a trip to Singapore and arrived about two weeks before her wedding, when I got home and got her wedding invitation. It was only then thateverything made complete sense. Yang2 and her matchmaking ploy!

Saw my name alright, right next to a Pancho Boy Larrazabal. Hmmm, the name quite rang a bell.

Pancho Boy. 

Date: flashback to about October 2006

About a year before "everything made complete sense", my mom came home from a party and was giddily telling me about wanting to set me up with "this guy". Apparently, she got to chat with Pancho Boy's mom at the party, they were both sharing about having single kids blah blah blah blah blah. My response was of course, "Ma! Stop setting me up!" Knowing my mom, she just laughed and said, "sige na gud dai!" Of course that was just it. The next day, his name came up again. Surprisingly, I got a call from a very good friend, Lyra. THe conversation went (almost verbatim!)...

*Lyra: Dai, haguy si manang brau di jud muhunong ug pangutana about nimo dai. Mangayo syag email address nimo kay ihatag nya sa mama ni Pancho Boy.

*Maica: Ha? My gosh tita ly, mao gihapon na gi ingun ni mama ipares nya nako!

*Lyra: Lagi dai, excited kaayo ang mama pud ni pancho boy. Ako bitaw gi-ingnan si manang brau mananghid pa ko nimo.

*Maica: Tita ly uy, weird mana muhatag ko. I don't mind if I meet him but not that way. Hahaha (laughter on both ends)

--- to translate it simply: Lyra's older sister, Tita Brau, is very good friends with Pancho BOy's mom. Tita Brau was asking Lyra for my email address so she can give it to Pancho Boy's mom so they could set us up blah blah. Obviously, I said no, it would be too weird. So there.

Date: back to early June 2007

So upon seeing Yang2's wedding invitation and seeing both our names on the entourage (he, a best man at that), of course I immediately saw it was all a set-up, subtly and uniquely arranged! Brilliantly arranged, I'd have to add.

Like I could do anything about it, I put the thought aside, but not without texting Yang2 that I knew what she was trying to do. She just laughed at me!

Date: June 18, 2007

The night before her wedding, she asked me to come to her grandparents' house to discuss last minute assignments for the big day. I saw a set-up playing again but I couldn't say no, so I showed up instead a bit later than usual... 

I arrived with funny, teasing faces in Yang2, her hubby-to-be Lito (who I just met that evening), and her sisters. I shrugged off the thought. I just kept smiling and smiling. I greeted everyone - Yang's mom, their friends, and last but definitely not the least her Lola Rosie. What followed was a conversation that would be most unforgettable...

*Me: Good evening, tita!

*Lola Rosie: Huy dai, ngano karon paman ka? Nakalakaw na nuon ako manok!

*Me, in my puzzled look, "manok???" I asked myself.

*Lola Rosie to her friends: Sus, mao ni ako ipares sa ako apo. Si Pancho boy bah.

*Everyone else: Haguy, ka bagay jud! 

*Everyone else to me: Dai uy, angay kaayo mu ni pancho boy!

Then I fainted...

Nahhh, too dramatic! But I wished I did!!! I could feel myself blush to the nth level. 

Pancho boy, that name again. Where was he? Why was everyone setting us up? 

Who is he anyway? How did he look like?

So obviously he wasn't there anymore, like his Lola said, "nakalakaw na nuon ako manok!"

I'd have to admit that by now, the curiosity was growing in on me! 

Date: June 19, 2007 - THE day

On Yang's wedding day, we had our make up done and all the necessary preparations at their hotel. Still no sign of Pancho boy. Yang's sister, Darol, would ask me nonstop if Pancho boy and I finally met... The eternal question.

Fast forward to the church...

Waiting in line, I notice a bunch of guys here and there, I have to admit again I was curious. My sister, Iana, was getting more curious and impatient than I was. Every guy we didn't know who would pass by us she'd point at and identify as "uyyy mao na guro nah!" We'd laugh our hearts out at every guy we'd identify as THE pancho boy. Our only clue was what our cousin Rica (who's cousins with pancho boy too) said, that he was "chubby".

I finally spotted him at the altar or near it, whatever. There were three best men, just like there were three of us, maids of honor, me and two of Yang's sisters. Amongst the best men, I knew one since he was a cousin, the other two I wasn't familiar with. One was chubby, the other short, to say the least (lurve yah, JD, wherever you are!). So I figured, I finally identified him. I could finally put a face to a name I've been hearing for the past year since...

Little did I know that that name would mean more in the coming months...

During the wedding mass I caught Darol (yang's sister and my brother tingtong's good friend) pointing to me, as if directing "those guys across us" to me... Of course I knew she was telling pancho boy that I was Maica... Duh, not so subtle, Da! ;)

On to the reception, I was the recipient of the eternal question, "so, have you and pancho finally met?" too many times I was too tired to count. Of course I was all smiling and laughing about it. I've never been set up with anyone ever before so this was all new to me.

So, we finally met.

My cousin (and his, too) Igoy brought him to our table, casually went, "Bai, meet my cousin, Maica. Maica, this is Panchoboy." He was all smiling and nice, "Hey, pleasure to meet you." or something to that effect, can't remember exactly. I was, like, "hey, nice to meet you too" or something again to that effect. Believe me when I say, all eyes were on us... We didn't chat or anything after that but he sat beside me and chatted with everyone else on our table (his cousins, some mine, too, on the other side of the family, of course). I can't remember what we did chat about when we had the chance to, little somethings, I guess. Just about it. The wedding reception went on, with all the traditional achoo-choo (aka stuff, thingies I have no idea what they're called exactly, thus the reference), of course, the unending set up came with it. The bouquet was literally "given" to me. Pancho boy did get the garter, he put the garter on me, so and so and so. Everyone cheered on, obviously, as expected.

That was basically it. After the wedding reception, Igoy arranged the night out after. We went karaoke-ing. Of course with Igoy, being the trying hard matchmaker, brought me and Pancho Boy along. It was awkward really, we just met that night, and we knew we were being set up. But then, the "super game" people that we were, we played along.

The karaoke night was lots of fun, actually. He seemed to be a pretty fun guy. I sang. He sang. It was crazy, we both sounded horrible! But like I told him thereafter, hearing him sang so horribly actually inspired me to sing! At the end of the night, I said "So, see ya around then!" And I honestly thought that was it. Despite the fact that Ormoc was a pretty small city, I didn't expect that I'd "see him around".

Fate wouldn't stop there though. Neither would eager cousins.

The following night, we all ended up seeing each other at Pardis (a resto, favorite hang-out of cousins since it's owned by three of our cousins - 3 of my fave people in the world, Kito, Igoy, and Monic). I was with friends, he was with cousins. He joined our table and we chatted for a bit. No big talk, really. Just little chitchats. 

Just about it.

Three days after, he FINALLY gave me a call. Not FINALLY in the context that I wanted him to so badly. Nothing of that sort. I simply didn't expect much from the meeting really. True, I thought about it, but just that. I didn't expect much from it. Period. But he did call (apparently, he got my number from Igoy).

*Me: Hello?

*Panch: Hi Maica, it's Panch.

*Me: I'm sorry. Who?

*Panch: It's Panch.

*Me: Panch?

*Panch: Panch...Um, Pancho boy bah.

*Me: Oh. Panch. Hey, what's up?

I'm serious there. He hates his "Pancho boy" nickname. He's no longer a little "boy" daw. 

When we both look back on that first call he made, we laugh. Sweet.

That first conversation was short. But sweet. We laughed a lot. I thought to myself, hey, he seems like a pretty cool guy. Funny, too. I liked funny.

He called again a few days later. And then again. And again. We met up a couple of times after too, but usually with the same group of his cousins and some of our common cousins, too. The setup and teasing were unending. But as in always, we were both cool about everything.

The night before he left, his cousins organized a little despedida at his family's hotel. It was kinda awkward again, what with all the teasing even the night before he was leaving. Hellooo, what did these guys expect from a two-week meeting? Nonetheless, we chatted almost the entire evening. He sat beside me (it took him a while to do that, no thanks to his "torpe" blood) and we just chatted. It was something, I'd have to say. Yes, it was too soon to say (duh!) but it sure was one memorable evening...

Again, I thought that was it. Thought I'd never hear from him again. Of course, he did ask for my email address, he had my mobile number and all. But still, there's no guarantee in anything and I simply just didn't expect much from meeting him. 

The following day, he called me from the airport. That I didn't expect... again. But he did call. We chatted again. He made me laugh again. It was fun... again.

He finally left. And again (!!!) I thought that was it. Again (I should stop saying this!).

The same evening he arrived in LA, he sent me a short but SWEET text, just telling me he was back home, and that he'd call me soon. Awww.

He did call me about two days later. And again a couple of days after. And again. 

And again. And again. It soon became nonstop. He'd call more often. Always, always, we'd talk about anything and everything under the sun. We shared so much - stories about our lives, views on things, outlook on life; we talked funny stuff, deep thoughts, brilliant ideas; literally, anything and everything...

As much as I didn't expect much from it, every single conversation we had, every laughter we shared, I'd realize how much joy he was bringing to my every day. I started to really really look forward to his every call...

Even so, romance was not expected (I speak for myself on this or so I convinced myself this). Although he'd say sweet nothings every once in a while - missing me and stuff but there was not a mention on feelings, emotions, and the like.

Date: Early September 2007

 

A couple of months after he went back home, I was surprised one morning when I got to the office and there sat a package on my desk. There were LBC USA stickers all over the box. Then there I saw his name: Pantaleon Larrazabal Jr. 

Oh my gosh. A package from him. Hmmmm...

Trust me, opening the box slowly (which irked my sister, she wanted me to tear it apart as soon as possible, she was way more emotional than I was, believe me!) brought out the kid in me, uber excited to see what was in store for me. I could have jumped up and down with excitement - but of course I had to stop myself; I could see my secretaries' eyes on me, watching my every reaction - so I had to look "cool" and "composed".

Alas, it was open...

*drum rolls please*

First, out came a stuffed pug puppy! Soooooo cute, looked exactly like my pug pups (my then 3 year old pug - may she rest in peace - just gave birth to 3 lovely pups about a month before the package came)!

Then came out all the "pop corns" (tubelike styro thingies serving as cushion for the stuff in the box). Hmmm what else could be there?

Then his card. Super the sweetest one I've ever gotten my entire life! (front: a fish bowl with moving fish-looking creatures; inside he wrote - in his ugly handwriting - still love you for it, choobs - "Dear Maica, Just wanted you to know that I'm swimming around in circles thinking of you... Talk to you soon. - Panch"

There.

But there was one more. The best ever surprise. (This was when I knew, hey, this guy must really like me!)

Last but definitely not the least: He sent me a beautifully framed black and white photo of both him and me the night before he left, at his despedida party. (say with me now, awwww.)

My sister Iana actually got teary-eyed. She goes, "awww, I never even had to train him yet to be this sweet." (a bit of history: Iana used to help out my ex-boyfriends to surprise me; she'd help them in figuring out what to give me, etc.)

It was just the sweetest thing, to say the least.

Choobs is very fond of surprises. He knows how much I love them. Although I know how he loves to surprise me, I still am amazed and still gets surprised (!) every time he pulls a new one on me...

Date: Last week of September 2007

Despite his little surprises and regular calls, he never expressed much. Sweet nothings that I didn't take too seriously. Up until one late September day when he said it all... Even during his first few calls when he was still here in Ormoc, he seemed to really be the shy, "torpe" guy ("torpe": tagalog, adjective; "usually" a guy having too much difficulty to express how he feels). Obviously, I had quite a feeling that this guy likes me, after all, why in the world would he call me that often and talk to me that long? But he never once "said" something really.

So that particular September day, he finally blurted out how he felt: that he liked me, missed me like crazy, and was looking forward to seeing me again. He said he wanted to tell me all those things in person but he couldn't wait any longer... He added how he felt that everything about our meeting was so "fateful"; he said "the stars just aligned perfectly" when we met. Apparently, that trip he took to attend Yang's wedding (and met me) was only his 2nd trip/visit (the last was a year before and for only a couple of days at that) ever since he and his family migrated to the US about 17-18 years ago... He'd always say, "what were the chances I'd meet you?" But we did. Awww.

It was the way he said it, it was just the cutest thing. I didn't say much really. That was it. I can't remember what I said next. But I know I didn't say anything significant. (He would tell me later on how bummed out he was.)

Date: Mid-October 2007

I was on my way to Manila for a seminar. A day before, we got into the whole "serious talk" mode and he told me again how he felt, how I never responded, how he didn't really know anything from my end, that he was willing to wait anyhow... I couldn't say anything back again. I was dumbfounded. Of course I'm sure it was quite obvious how I liked him back - why in the world would I set aside my 2-4pms for him almost every single day??? Then again, I couldn't say it that way. He continued to tell me how he wanted "that light at the end of the tunnel", he was wondering if I wanted the same thing. I was quiet still.

That got me thinking all day. Obviously I wanted "that light", too. So I told him that. But I added, "Let's talk and deal with it when you come back here." After all, this was all long-distance, what would we expect from it, really? Would it work out? 

If yes, how???

Date: Mid-December 2007

Meant for each other. He said this when one December day, I got to the office and got a package from him again. His Christmas present. A Hermes perfume. Sweet. Am not much of a perfume kind of girl but I loooovvvveeeddd it nonetheless, he chose it after all. There's always something to it. But the beauty to that day did not end there... After I opened the package and read the card, I texted him and thanked him for it. I knew he was still at work then. He got my message when he was on the way to dinner with his colleagues. After dinner, he immediately went home, hoping to call me. But he got the biggest surprise when he got a package from me, too. Yes, technically, on the "same day". He was just amazed and couldn't help it. I had sent him a week before that day a couple of books (funny, comic booklets) and a table calendar (with the sweetest message, I'd like to think hehehe: "am counting the days till you come home" - yes, thus the calendar). He was just aaaamazed. He sounded like a kid when he called me. "What are the chances, kiddo?" (We called each other that during that time. Hohum.)

Date: Early January 2007

Surprises didn't end there. (I'd like to think they never will.)

I knew his parents were coming home this month for his lolo's 80th birthday. All his dad's siblings and their spouses were coming home for this big event. Of course, I wished more than anything for him to come, too. But it was tough at work...

It was one lazy Sunday afternoon and I was working at Tita Rina's, checking stocks from the previous year, doing inventory, and all those stuff.

A white Strada pick-up arrives. Unfamiliar. A driver came down, looking for me. I was like, "Ngano man ta, noy?" Then the now-known Noy Bastian said, "Aw dai, diay gipadala si Panchoboy. Nangabot man gud ang mga taga-America."

I know, another AWWWW moment.

He sent one paper bag of goodies (chocolates, yankee candles, and other assorted stuff - he would explain each goodie for whatever they meant); the sweetest of which? A gold-globe-like-thingie. He said: "My world revolves around you." Enough said.

A week after, I eventually ran into his mom at a cousin's wedding (a common cousin). It was such a funny meeting, with all eyes on us, excited for us, to say the least. It was something again, and I still can't help but laugh when I remember the very moment we met, introduced to each other, and when she gave me such a big, warm hug. Super. I always knew how excited Tita Evelyn was for us to meet but Choobs kept telling her that he would prefer that he be the one to introduce us to each other. Sorry baby, we beat you to it. :)

Date: A day before Hearts Day

I was supposed to leave for Cebu on Valentine's Day to "chaperone" my sister and her boyfriend. Alas, I chose to savor the event with other "single" cousins here in Ormoc. But I failed to inform my Choobs (not mine yet back then hehehe) about the change of plan, hence his surprise came a day before THE day. I was driving back to the office when I met along the way Dianne's car on the way to our house, or so I presumed. I drove along anyhow. Iana and Carlo (her beloved) dropped by the office on their way to the boat to bring Choobs' presents: a big bouquet of red roses, the romantic Pepe Le Pew (revealing too much, more than he ever did!), and a very "heartfelt" card, as he put it. 

Needless to say, I had the best Valentine's Day, despite the fact that I was "single" that day.

It was early, early January when he suddenly talked about visiting me. Finally. He told me how he wanted to surprise me but was scared that he'd travel all the way to visit me and I'd end up too busy to see him or worse, that I might not be around. Good points. But the surprise would've been something. (His sister, Meia, was bummed out that he told me, that he didn't surprise me! Trust me, I was pretty bummed out, too!) So we discusses things, as to when the best time was to visit me, how he planned his leave at work, and all.

I was sooo ecstatic, it was unimaginable! But then again, there was the whole "fear" issue - what if meeting him in person would be all too weird and different? What if we wouldn't click as much in person as we did over the long conversations we had on the phone? What if...? There were more what ifs really. It was crazy. But the best part about everything was being able to talk to him about everything - how we felt about the whole thing, how it was gonna be like for both of us, all the what ifs and other fears...

One of the too-many cute conversations we had:

Choobs: Are you as excited as I am?

Maica: I don't how excited you are, so I don't know. But I am excited.

Choobs: Are you as happy as I am?

Maica: I don't know how happy you are, so I don't know. So, how happy are you?

Choobs: Very, very happy. I can't really describe it in words.

Awww.

If he only knew how excited I was. Like a little child awaiting the best birthday present ever. Big difference is that I was an excited big girl, awaiting for her prince charming, hoping he is THE one she's been waiting and praying for...

Date: the most unforgettable March ever (March 2-17, 2008)

So my long-awaited prince charming came.

All those fears and what ifs? Gone. They were all gone (as if they never existed at all) the moment he stepped into my home and gave me the biggest hug. We talked all night, just as excitedly, interestingly as we did on the phone. It was just amazing! We did so till about midnight.

The days that followed were a blur of too many good moments all rolled into just two whole weeks. We spent almost every waking moment together. And if it wasn't enough, we'd still chat on the phone after spending the entire day together. Ahh, pure bliss. I can actually make a rundown of every single detail of every single day of his trip (I've practically memorized them by heart - yeah yeah), but I'd rather put them in a list of some sort...

Like, the top ten most memorable, most awwwww moments:

1) That first giant hug we shared the night he arrived - that evening erased every single fear, every single worry that we had; because that first night, we chatted and connected as much as we did on the phone the past nine months!

2) Seeing my parents' excited faces, my brother Tingtong cooking for that first dinner at home with him; Choobs and Poppy just hit it off - they talked the whole evening!

3) Our lunch dates at Agalon - the first lunch date we ever had was at Agalon; we spent the morning just hanging out at the now memorable treehouse, where we just chatted the whole morning, talking about us...

It was during this day at Agalon at the treehouse when he first held my hand. It was the sweetest, most awwwww moment. 

Our second lunch date there was exactly a week after the first lunch date. We had a mini-picnic, bought some barbecue and puso, and just spent a simple, quiet lunch still at the treehouse.

The treehouse.

4) Spending time with him, his cousins, and mine. All those karaoke nights, drinks here and there, food tripping. Cousins made the trip all the more memorable.

5) His birthday surprise/s.

It was a happy one - happy as happy can get.

He came in the morning with a plastic bag in hand. He then started to pull out gift after gift.

First was a present from his mom, a beautiful white bag. Sooo sweet and thoughtful!

Next was from Mayette, his cousin. A box of Godiva chocolates! It was just sooo thoughtful!

Lastly, he pulled out a birthday card and a blue Tiffany box with a quaint white ribbon.

I read the card first. Ohhh so typically sweet Panchoboy.

I slowly opened the box and saw it. A cute silver chain bracelet, with my initial and hearts engraved on the charm pendant.

Simply the sweetest.

Again, the surprise didn't end there.

He brought me to one of his family's restaurants, we ordered in food, sat down, and had a sumptuous lunch.

Right after lunch, I saw the waiter come along with a cake of Strawberry Shortcake! My birthday cake! 

Apparently, he arranged the whole thing. He ordered a cake, asked help from his cousin Julia. 

It was just the sweetest. Him lighting all 26 candles (coz the darn waiter didn't! Choobs got all sweaty after lighting those candles), "singing" for me a happy birthday song, me blowing all my candles... Ahhhh. Pure birthday bliss.

Trust me, it was the best birthday EVER.

6) Meeting families.

He met my family, had dinner with them; he met the big Rodriguez clan, met my mom's sisters... 

The same way, I met his lola and lola from his dad's side, and his "mommy" from his mom's side.

Those were memorable moments. Nerve-wracking, yes. But more so, they were most memorable.

 Meeting his Lolo and Lola was something - of course I've technically met them a couple of times already before but this was different, this was somehow in the context of me with Panchoboy. Me and Panchoboy. I'll never forget the look on Lola Rosie's face when he and I had dinner at their hotel one evening, Panchoboy brought me to greet them, his Lola excitedly said: "Hi dai! Sige, go, kiss saimu Lolo Sabin!" Imu. Choobs and I had to contain our giggling! That was really something! That didn't even end there. We ended up having lunch at their house the day Choobs and I left for Cebu a few days before he was to leave for California. Again, she goes on showing me the pictures of Choobs' uncles and aunts (his dad's siblings) and their families, saying, "Dai, mao ni imu Tito, Tita..."

 I should stop. Hahaha. I was blushing like anything! To the nth level, believe me. Choobs stood there, just giggling like a little kid. He enjoyed that scenario and would tease me endlessly about it. Lunch with his family was fun, I got to know how they were as a family, his Lolo is such a sweet old man. 

 In Cebu, I met his "Mommy" who is actually his mom's mother. A very sweet, funny Ilongga, Choobs is his favorite apo (technically, there's just Choobs and his younger sister Meia; Choobs' mom is an only child), and I saw how doting she was! 

 Truly, those were memorable meals shared with both our families! Unforgettable first meals at that!

7) "Needle in a haystack."

That's how he defined me to his cousin, Igoy. Since Igoy is also my cousin from the other side of the family and we've known each other longer, he told me about how Choobs described me to be. Of course, another awwww moment. He never told me straight-out about it, although of course I know he loves me and cares so much for me. Those he'd say and show straight-out.

I remember confronting him about it, teasingly. Trust me, he blushed his own version of blushing! He couldn't believe Igoy would tell on him. I couldn't believe he was that cheesy. All 33 years of him. But it was the sweetest thing.

8) His singing!!!

 The first night we met, we hit it off albeit not so romantically just quite yet, but we sure had loads of fun singing the songs at Bistado.

 Hence, we relived that first night we met by spending quite a few nights karaoke-ing during his visit. Believe me, we are both not singers, not even close. We both sing horribly! But with the help of his singing coaches, Ida & Angela (not quite you, K, not quite! You sound as horrible as he does!), he belted out a couple of cheesy love songs for moi!

 His karaoke songs for me???

 Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore by Reo Speedwagon and Superstar by the Carpenters (although we both love the version of Sonic Youth from the movie Juno)

 Trust me, if our relationship didn't have much of a strong foundation, I would've been turned off by his singing or lack of it thereof. Hahaha. 

 But alas, I'm in this for the long haul.

 And it's been pure bliss, believe me.

 Ahhh. Pure love bliss. Blissful love.

9) Just chillin' with him...

The two weeks he was here, he and I both spent much time just relaxing, talking, being quiet, just enjoying each other's company... At home (while my mom would casually "pass by" - aka spy), at the beach (spent an afternoon at Plantation Bay, just enjoying the summer heat, the pool, the scenery, bliss!), at the spa, at the mall (just "malling" - he loves that coined term!), at the movies, at Bebidas (enjoying coffee with cousins or just by ourselves), at almost every nook and corner of Ormoc - driving around... Ahhh. Pure bliss. Truly. Madly. Deeply.

10) After missing him for almost two months now, we will finally see each other again in 111 days, come August 30th, his 34th birthday. God willing!

 

It's been almost two months since he left, yes. And it's been TOUGH - all caps at that. Don't get me wrong, everything's been super for us. We talk regularly, every single day at that - as soon as he gets home from work and before he goes to bed. We continue to share just about everything under the bright sun and through the rains. Oh what am I saying? We just feel sooo blessed to have each other. We truly can't thank God enough!!! The ONLY reason why it's been tough is the fact that he's there, and am here. 7,000+++ miles at that, if I'm not mistaken... Oh well. Life can't be that perfect, aight?

So with his next visit, we're both ecstatic, just sooo excited!!! Like little kids once again, awaiting each other's loves. Ahhh. Bliss. Blissful love. I just can't stop saying that. Thank God!

That said, I end the countdown. 

But not the love story. For it has only just begun. 

I believe in my heart that more than the "fateful meeting", more than "the stars that aligned perfectly when we met", more than the matchmaking scheme of family and cousins, God has much in store for both of us... And we continue to pray that one day, in His perfect time, that we not only be a match made by others but more so, that we be a match made by God in heaven...