this is going to cheesy

I miss him like crazy.

I was hoping to see him sooner rather than later this year.

Was counting on a few months that I MIGHT get to visit him, since my mom is dead set on going to the States with Tita May, her beloved sister, to visit Karen, my cousin, who's giving birth in July. Of course, it would be too easy to convince her to bring me along.

It was probably wrong for me and Choobs to put our hopes up too high too soon. 

We just couldn't help it, you know. We were both hoping I'd visit him and see his world this time, after he spent two weeks with me in my beautiful, laidback world. He was already listing down the places he wanted to take me to - his favorite restaurants, hang-outs, and all the other beautiful places he wanted me to see with him. Awww.

Alas, reality bites.

Had a chat with Poppy this noon and he told us the news that it would be wiser to work on our US visas (which expired already) come December instead of June because there's a bigger chance we might be given just 6 months, 3 months at worst case scenarios (us being "single & mobile" - one of the consuls at the US embassy gave this reason to my friend who was rejected a visa), so it would be impractical for my other siblings to leave within that amount of time - they're all off to somewhere starting June: Iana off to her fashion school, Ivi to her new job in Manila, and my dear brod Tingtong off to Med school.

So to make the long story short, I told Choobs about it earlier and it just bummed us out. We were quiet. For a loooonnnggg time it felt like forever. And I was especially more quiet.

I stop and ask myself, "Why did I ever get myself into this?"

That caught Choobs off guard, hurt, that I ever asked that because he never once thought about that.

I made bawi, telling him that I know, for certain, this is all worth it. It's just difficult (VERY!), realistically speaking.

He agreed. All forgiven.

After hanging up, I still couldn't fathom the fact that this was a difficult situation I got myself into. 

Long-distance relationships.

This a first for both of us.

He never believed in these before. He thought it was stupid. Not until he met me, he says. He didn't realize he'd feel this much stronger for a person to ever fight for this, despite the distance that keeps us apart.

I can say the same, really.

After all, before he happened to me, I didn't expect nor did I want myself to get into a relationship. Period.

But he was just all worth it. He is just all worth it.

I should stop the pondering, I know.

I should stop the cheesiness of all these, I know.

Still can't stop missing him like crazy, though.

Bow.